Are people who need to make movies about people who predict the future by reading other people's butt prints the luckiest people in the world?
Barbra Streisand seems to think so.
Veteran gossipist Liz Smith reports that Streisand was recently overheard telling Sylvester Stallone that his mother's life would make a great flick. (According to Smith, Babs even bandied about poor Shirley MacLaine's name as a possible star!)
Sly's mom, Jackie Stallone, you may recall, has made something of a name for herself as a psychic (she's also been a trapeze artist, a hairdresser and a dermatologist). Recently, Rumpology -- like palm-reading, only ... different -- has been Jackie's forte.
But Jackie also specializes in canine consultations. Just this week, in fact, Jackie told the New York Post that her two Doberman pinschers, who apparently forecast the George W. Bush presidency, are predicting that "Chocolat" will take the Oscar for best picture. The pooches are also reportedly predicting that Steven Soderbergh, Julia Roberts, Kate Hudson and Russell Crowe will all win Oscars.
However, Mama Stallone's dogs say a certain castaway is barking up the wrong tree if he thinks he's gonna take home a hefty gold souvenir. "Tom Hanks is not gonna get it this year," Jackie predicts.
No matter what his butt prints say.
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And the winning biceps are ...
"He's got great arms."
-- Tony Curtis on how he thinks Russell Crowe is armed for victory at the Oscars this year.
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Fall of the House of the Lords?
Jerry Springer may be pushing his love affair with the British public just a little too far.
The London-born king of trash TV reportedly has his eye on a noble new title: Lord Springer of Hampstead.
Ananova reports that Springer is nursing plans to apply for something called a people's peerage, by which the prime minister honors men and women who have contributed to society through their work on television.
And to those who say the fisticuffs facilitator is unworthy of such an honor, Springer points out the following: "Every time people watch my show, they say, 'Oh my Lord.'"
Unless, of course, they say worse.
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Cleft or cleavage?
"I'm shocked they want my chin -- I always thought it made me look like Michael Jackson. It always drove me crazy because of the cleft. Why not my breasts? They're fantastic."
-- Sandra Bullock, responding to speculation that people are asking plastic surgeons to remake their chins to look more like hers, at the London premiere of "Miss Congeniality."
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Still feeling the faith
Heard those rumors about Tom Cruise ditching the Church of Scientology after writing them one last honking check?
His people would like you to forget 'em.
Cruise's lawyer, Bert Fields, tells the New York Daily News the reports, which have made the rounds before, are "total rubbish."
"Tom remains a Scientologist," Fields told Daily News columnist Mitchell Fink. "He has not come anywhere near close to leaving the church."
OK, but has he come far close?
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Immaculate concept
"It would be really great if people would realize that stars are only people with the same weaknesses and flaws, not immaculate idols."
-- Meg Ryan on why she's unworthy of worship.
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How she really killed the aliens
Sigourney Weaver and William Shatner, together again for the first time? Singing?
Weaver recently told TV Guide Online that she's completely disappointed that the rendition of the Beatles' "Back in the USSR" she belts out -- in her character's Russian accent -- in her forthcoming comedy "Heartbreakers" didn't make it onto the film's soundtrack. But she's got a backup plan.
"During the [impending actors] strike, I won't have anything to do," Weaver says. "I can make a whole album with me singing different things in different accents ... Maybe me and Bill Shatner."
The real heartbreaker is she was joking.
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Joanie loves Chachi, but Chachi hates being old
"I am having a good time. But people who say they are happy turning 40 are lying. I would give up the wisdom of 40 to be 22 again."
-- Scott Baio, on the prospect of turning 40 later this year, in Us Weekly.
So much for happy days.
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Miss something? Read yesterday's Nothing Personal.
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