It won't be easy, but if you really concentrate you might be able to conjure up an isolated moment when your sweet mother -- the one whose love, sacrifice and temperate wisdom shaped you into the stable adult you are -- had one of those days when she was more of a Mommy Dearest than a Mama Cleaver: a walking nightmare with curlers in her hair and a voice so shrill that it made your eardrums ache and pinched the happiness right out of you. Far be it from us to criticize our mothers! But we're more than happy to listen if you want to criticize yours ...
Did she ground you for five months for illicitly soaping your brothers' toothbrushes? Did she show up at your best friend's kegger and force you to go home with her in a station wagon? Get caught for stealing tea towels ("That's what they're there for") from Monticello during your class field trip? Forbid you to see that ninth grade boy with the 5 o'clock shadow, the one who, you realize in retrospect, was the childhood love of your life? We know you learned from the best, so send in your submission for the Mother of All Drama Queens to dramaqueen@salonmagazine.com by June 8, 1998.
As for the winners of the Drama Queen Confessional -- the worst deed you ever committed -- click on the names in the left-hand column. The queen and her court have, from this day forward, no need to feel guilty anymore; their heinous acts shall remain forever buried in the past -- and in the archives of this magazine.
Drama Queen for a Day + Marilynn Bachmayer +
Arlene Green + X. McClure
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