Me, myself & my watermelon?
According to gossipist Baird Jones, keen-eyed viewers of the Farrelly brothers' latest offering, "Me, Myself & Irene," will notice a wayward melon "with a suspicious hole in the rind" in the scene in which Jim Carrey is lounging on his bed. What's with the punctured fruit?
Jones has it from an "inside source" that the film initially included a scene in which Renee Zellweger wakes Carrey and then notices her photo next to a "watermelon with a masturbatory hole in it." After test audiences greeted the seedy scene with a chorus of groans -- and griped that it was too reminiscent of the food sex in "American Pie" -- the Farrellys cut it, but accidentally left in the melon shot "without any plot explanation."
But hey, there's hope for Farrelly fans who are heartbroken that the fruity scene was sliced. "Watch for the whole watermelon scene to be the first thing resurrected in a DVD issue," says the source. There, there. Feel better now?
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Simpson: I think I'm in love with my virginity
"I'm surprised that people are surprised that I'm not having sex."
-- Teenage singer Jessica Simpson says of her Spears-like stance on premarital sex, in USA Today.
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I do ... for now
What of that London tabloid rumor that Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones are locked in a battle over a prenuptial agreement specifying how much of Douglas' $225 million fortune the pregnant actress will get if their planned September marriage doesn't last?
"It's a complete fabrication," a Douglas spokesman contends.
Well, maybe not totally complete. The spokesman tells Scotland's Daily Record that the couple has, in fact, come to a private financial agreement allowing for the possibility that the marriage won't last forever -- but that was months ago.
"I can't imagine any couple in their position not coming to some form of arrangement before getting married," he says.
So much for till death do us part ...
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The love that dare not speak Liv's name
Rebecca Romijn-Stamos has a dream -- and it's X-rated.
While her first sex dream was about Steve Martin -- "It was right after I saw 'Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid,'" she explains -- the model/actress admits in the upcoming Maxim that her nighttime fantasies have more recently starred women.
Why, just the other night, she says, she had an erotic dream about Liv Tyler. "We were, like, really in love, living together in San Francisco," she says. "Then one morning she was gone and I was devastated."
Blame those Tyler lips.
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Juicy bits
Natural born killer? Not my pops! So contends Woody Harrelson, who is supporting his father's effort to overturn the 1982 murder conviction for which he is currently serving two life sentences at a federal maximum-security prison in Colorado. At a hearing on Monday, attended by his famous son, Charles Harrelson contended that a judge and federal prosecutors conspired against him at his trial for the 1979 contract killing of a Texas judge. They were "like two watermelons in a peanut shell," he said. He'd better not let Jim Carrey hear him say that.
Ramona the pest? CBS might think so. MSNBC's Jeannette Walls suspects that former "Survivor" contestant Ramona Gray, who was voted off the island by her teammates on last week's episode, may have tipped the TV-watching public off to the show's winner. Asked during a "CBS This Morning" appearance to describe each of her fellow castaways in one word, Gray blurted that Gretchen Cordy was a "survivor." A spokesman for the show refused to comment, quickly adding, "That is neither to confirm nor deny anything." Letting the cat out of the bag? You can bet Rudy'd never do anything like that ...
You still haven't heard the last of Darva Conger. The multimillionaire annullee is donating the bridal gown she wore for her Playboy cover shoot to Planet Hollywood, where it will be displayed for posterity (or until the troubled chain folds) along with a copy of the August 2000 issue of Playboy. That's the issue that features Conger wearing nothing but the smile she withheld from her unfortunate groom Rick Rockwell. And you thought Planet Hollywood was a family restaurant.
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