What follows is a news quiz and public service from your friends at Salon. The answers appear at the bottom.
1. As a congressional candidate in 1978, which of the following did George W. Bush do?
A) Oppose the Equal Rights Amendment
B) Accuse President Jimmy Carter of leading the nation "toward European-style socialism"
C) Claim in a newspaper ad to have served on active duty in the military when he had actually served in the Air National Guard along with the sons of other famous politicians and several Dallas Cowboys
D) All of the above
2. During his ugly "no controlling legal authority" press conference in 1997, when Vice President Al Gore said that "on a few occasions I made some telephone calls from my office at the White House using a DNC credit card," how many times constituted "a few occasions"?
A) 3
B) 7
C) 12
D) 52
3. According to his former editor, David Sanford, Green Party nominee Ralph Nader declines dinner invitations from people who have pets because:
A) He thinks cats cause leukemia
B) He hates dogs
C) He's a hypochondriac
D) All of the above
4. Which of the following government positions rank higher in power than Texas governor, as decreed by the state constitution?
A) Attorney general
B) Comptroller
C) Land commissioner
D) All of the above (plus lieutenant governor)
5. As a congressional candidate in 1976, which of the following did Al Gore do?
A) Call homosexuality "abnormal"
B) Oppose gun control
C) Come out against federal funding for abortions
D) All of the above
6. When asked the difference between himself and his father, George W. Bush said: "He attended Greenwich Country Day and I went to San Jacinto High School in Midland [Texas]." What, if anything, is incorrect about that statement?
A) W. never attended San Jacinto High, though he did put in one year at San Jacinto Junior High
B) W. didn't even attend high school in Texas -- he went to the elite prep school Phillips Academy in Andover, Mass.
C) ... which is also where his father went.
D) All of the above
7. After having three daughters, Al and Tipper Gore, deciding they would like to have a son, sought advice from the book "How to Choose the Sex of Your Baby" by Dr. Landrum B. Shettles, which recommends which of the following strategies for couples looking to conceive a baby boy?
A) That the father "avoid jockey shorts, jockstraps, and other tight-fitting clothing"
B) That the father guzzle "a couple of cups of strong caffeinated coffee fifteen to thirty minutes before having intercourse."
C) That the mother "try to experience orgasm during the critical intercourse" or multiple orgasms "at the same time or, better yet, just before the male orgasm"
D) All of the above
8. Of all the individuals executed since the death penalty was reinstituted by the Supreme Court in 1976, what fraction have been put to death under Bush's watch?
A) 1/55th
B) 1/40th
C) 1/25th
D) 1/6th
9. Which of the following excuses has Al Gore tried to use in reference to the Buddhist temple fundraiser scandal, in which tens of thousands of foreign funds were illegally funneled to the DNC?
A) "Number one, we have strictly abided by all of the campaign finance laws, strictly. There've been no violations."
B) "The DNC set up the event, asked me to attend it. It was not billed as a fundraiser. It was billed as a community outreach event."
C) "I was informed that this outreach event was sponsored by the Asian-American Leadership Council of the DNC, and participation in the council required a prior donation."
D) "I did not know that it was a fundraiser."
E) All of the above.
10. Which of the following quotes are attributable to probable Reform Party nominee Pat Buchanan?
A) Adolph Hitler was "an individual of great courage, a soldier's soldier in the Great War, a political organizer of the first rank."
B) "The poor homosexuals -- they have declared war on nature and now nature is exacting its retribution."
C) Russian poet Yevgeny Yevtushenko is "the porch-nigger of the Politburo."
D) "Rail as they will against 'discrimination,' women are simply not endowed by nature with the same measures of single-minded ambition and the will to succeed in the fiercely competitive world of Western capitalism ... The momma bird builds the nest. So it was, so it ever shall be."
E) All of the above
11. When Al Gore said to a Southern audience, "I tell you, I've plowed the ground, put in the seed beds, I've planted it, hoed it, wormed it, suckered it, cut it, spiked it, put it in the barns, stripped it, and sold it," what is the "it" he was referring to?
A) cotton
B) marijuana
C) soft money
D) tobacco
12. "There were no politics to polarize us then, to magnify every slight. The 'negroes' of [his hometown] had their public schools, restaurants, bars, movie houses, playgrounds and churches; and we had ours." Identify the author.
A) David Duke
B) George Wallace
C) George Lincoln Rockwell
D) Pat Buchanan
13. The unprecedented campaign spending of George W. Bush from March 7, 1999, the day he announced the formation of his exploratory committee, until March 2000, the end of his first-quarter campaign finance report, means that the candidate has spent at which of the following rates?
A) $1.3 million per week
B) $7,494 per hour
C) $2.08 per second
D) All of the above
14. In 1988, when he was asked by a reporter for the Hartford Courant what he and his father talked about when they weren't discussing politics, what did George W. Bush reply?
A) family
B) Jesus Christ
C) sports
D) pussy
Answer key: The answer to each question is the last choice given.
Sources for above: "Shrub: The Short Happy Political Life of George W. Bush" by Molly Ivins and Lou Dubose; "Gore: A Political Life" by Bob Zelnick; "Inventing Al Gore" by Bill Turque; "First Son: George W. Bush and the Bush Family Dynasty" by Bill Minutaglio; "Me & Ralph: Is Nader Unsafe for America?" by David Sanford; Pat Buchanan's columns; "George W.'s Spending Spree" by Holly Bailey; the Center for Responsive Politics; "Right from the Beginning" by Pat Buchanan; Gore on NBC's "Meet the Press," 10/13/96; Gore on National Public Radio's "Morning Edition," 10/22/96; Gore on NPR's "Human Events," 10/21/96; and Gore on NBC's "Today" show, 1/25/97.
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