Our nups will bring you big bucks!

Find the sponsorship opportunity to make our special day your big break.

By Alison Rogers

Published August 10, 2000 7:23PM (EDT)

Dear _______,

Thank you for your interest in the Rogers-Gaffen wedding. We are firming up plans with the caterer and look forward to seeing you next spring.

Unfortunately, as we plan our special day, we are experiencing a significant budget shortfall. In order to make our joyous dreams a reality, we present the following sponsorship opportunities:

LEVEL I, INDIVIDUAL

Women

  • Being seated next to your ex-boyfriend, $75
  • Being seated as far as possible from your ex-boyfriend, $125
  • Having the bouquet thrown in your direction, $250

    Men

  • Inviting your crush to be a bridesmaid, $200 (each)
  • Supplying an absurdly sexy bridesmaid's dress, $300 per dress
  • Handpicking thongs for bridesmaids of choice, $700

    LEVEL II, CORPORATE

    Advertising Placement

  • Reception hall walls, $500
  • Table centerpieces, $50 each
  • Slide projections on chuppa, $100 per 30-second spot

    Logo Opportunities

  • Cake topper, $200
  • Yarmulkes, $300
  • Bridal leg (above garter/below garter), $250/$150
  • Mother-in-law word-of-mouth sponsorship (We promise, she'll tell all her friends), $75 per product
  • Ketubah mention ("The groom offers to give his bride all his property, real and personal, the shirt off his back and his [your brand here] television set/blender/wireless Internet device ..."), $400

    We also have available one platinum (LEVEL III) sponsorship.

    This package allows for above-the-title placement for your company, e.g., "Doritos presents the Rogers-Gaffen wedding." This level includes naming your company in the wedding invitation for our special day ("Dave and Ali, along with Miller Beer, invite you to celebrate our marriage ...") and contains the possibility for product placement in the New York Times wedding announcements.

    For those of you interested in long-term brand development, we are willing to offer extended contracts covering anniversary celebrations and/or divorce proceedings.

    Many of you have asked if we will be selling baby-naming rights. Traditionally, these are sold to the highest-bidding grandparent, but we're willing to entertain other offers.

    We also want to invite certain sponsors into "favored category" status. We are planning a large wedding, so we will need roses, Champagne, silverware, a dance floor, psychiatrists and police crime-scene tape. And why should we be showered by generic rice when we could be feted with Rice-A-Roni? Why should the bride walk down just any aisle when her feet could be gliding down a Stairmaster? You get the idea. Now get the sponsorship!

    Finally, we have not yet found the direct commercial tie-in for this, but the groom really wants one of those little scooter things.

    In closing, we would like to remind you that the demographics of the Rogers-Gaffen wedding promise to be spectacular, with an audience composed of brand-conscious baby boomers, culture-influencing magazine editors and young, free-spending yet undiscriminating males from ages of 18 to 34. This is a very difficult target audience to reach -- and we will keep them captive for six hours.

    If our metrics start to drop, we promise to kick out one guest an hour.

    Let us know which sponsorships you're interested in. We look forward to hearing from you.

    Yours in love and commerce,

    Ali and Dave


    • By Alison Rogers

    Alison Rogers is a writer living in Manhattan. Her work has appeared in Brill's Content, Fortune and the New York Times, among other publications. She will not change her name for less than $25,000.

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