Cover your ears, Gwyneth!
Ben Affleck may be dipping into the Viagra again.
Witnesses tell me that the ever-randy actor got a little too frisky with a comely Secret Service agent during a photo op at a Los Angeles rally for Al Gore on Tuesday. Cher, Whoopi Goldberg, Ed Begley Jr., Martin Sheen and alleged onetime armpit-sniffer John Cusack were also in attendance -- but Affleck was the only star against whom the married female agent had to use a little self-defense.
"He's very bright and I'd love to sit down and talk to him sometime, but I was on duty," explains the agent, who says she was forced "to bend his thumb back" to break a rather constrictive hug.
Nookie monster Affleck also propositioned the hapless agent within earshot of reporters, suggesting that the two repair to a Holiday Inn. "I've always wanted to lay a Secret Service agent," he said.
Listen, Ben, it's not that kind of Secret Service. Next time, try an intern.
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What would Sonny say?
"Has everyone lost their f--king minds? Doesn't anybody remember the illustrious Reagan-Bush years when people had no money and no jobs? What has happened to people's memories? It's like they have Alzheimer's or something."
-- Cher, providing a little insight as to why she's delayed the recording of her new album to campaign against George W. Bush.
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Goths for Gore
Don't hold your breath for a press release from the Gore camp, but it looks like Al's just racked up one very important endorsement: Marilyn Manson.
True, the ultra-tattooed Goth rocker recently told Talk magazine he was backing Bush, but now he tells the upcoming issue of High Times that he's changed his mind. And it has nothing to do with W.'s poor grammar.
Manson says he's made the move because the Democrats are "safer to deal with" and more likely to appoint "art-friendly" judges. Then again, he says he's pretty sure "both sides hate me."
Awww. Sounds like someone needs a hug.
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In fact, hugs all around
"I'm your classic rock guy, I have a lot of anger, a lot of rage inside of me."
-- U2's Bono, revealing that he still hasn't found what he's looking for.
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Mind-bending lawsuit
Attention, Nintendo fans: Uri Geller is not game.
The "psychic entertainer" says he's outraged that Nintendo has used his name and image on Pokimon cards. It debases him, he says. So he's filed a lawsuit against the company in Los Angeles federal court.
Geller, who is suing for damages as well as the removal of his name and trademark bent-spoon image from Pokimon cards and related paraphernalia, contends that "Nintendo turned me into an evil, occult Pokimon character. Nintendo stole my identity by using my name and my signature image."
He's particularly upset by the star on the Pokimon Geller character's forehead and lightning bolts on his chest, which he says evoke the Nazi SS symbol.
Says Geller, "I want to tell the world before the start of the holiday season that I have nothing whatsoever to do with these violent characters."
Put that in your spoon and bend it.
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Pow! Right in Paula's kisser!
"Actually, I want to win ... so I can show Paula Jones what the correct response was supposed to be."
-- Conservative columnist Ann Coulter, commenting in the Washington Post on the likelihood that she'll win Playboy.com's "Beltway Babes" poll, which carries the option of appearing in an upcoming issue of the magazine as a reward.
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Juicy bits
Will Eminem's tribulations never cease? Now the towheaded rapper's lost the notebook containing the lyrics to his as-yet-unrecorded upcoming album. He last saw it on a Delta Air Lines flight from Cincinnati to New Orleans, according to his spokespeople. And if you spot the vitriol-filled spiral notebook with Britney Spears on the cover, you can e-mail found@eminem.com and collect your cash reward or a chance to meet the rapper himself. Or, of course, you can sell it for a lot of money on eBay.
Eddie the mook, a fashion inspiration? Someone apparently thinks so. "Big Brother" winner Eddie McGee will take home an "Inspiration Award" at the fashion industry's version of the Oscars on Nov. 27. What, exactly, has he inspired us to do?
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Miss something? Read yesterday's Nothing Personal.
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