As you watched the Oscars on Sunday night, here's hoping you spared a thought for the poor, put-upon seat fillers. While the rest of us sit snugly at home, smugly snarking away with our friends, these men and women spend the evening rushing around in formal attire and plunking themselves down in seats vacated by invited luminaries who slip out to, say, pee, so that when the camera pans the audience, it looks ever robust.
Not only do they have to race around the raked auditorium in high heels; they are -- oh, the injustice! -- not allowed to snark.
Well, at least not during the show. But one seat filler took the opportunity to dish the dirt during an interview on NPR's "Morning Edition" last week.
Asked if any celebrity had treated him badly during Hollywood travels, the seat filler, who has also worked as a stand-in, exclaimed, "Ben Affleck!"
"If you're a woman with big breasts, he'll talk to you," he told his public radio interviewer. "Otherwise, forget it."
So much for being unafflected by fame.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
A woman after Ben's heart
"Russell, you're not the star! I'm the star! These [pointing to her breasts] are the ****ing stars!"
-- Courtney Love to Russell Crowe at an Oscar party Friday night, according to New York Daily News columnists Rush and Malloy.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Julia Roberts' standing O
And since we're really dwelling on only the classiest aspects of the Oscars in this column today, we may as well follow Julia Roberts to the bathroom.
When the bubbly best actress winner rushed off to use the women's room at the Vanity Fair post-party on Sunday night, the Associated Press reports, she was confronted by a huge line.
What did she do? What did she do?
She did what any right-minded woman would do and made a beeline for the men's room, where she was greeted with cheers and applause.
Guess that answers that question about the sound of one hand clapping.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
No tip for her!
"You know, I swore that if I ever won an Oscar, that I would say thank you to all the waiters and waitresses who used to cover my shift for me so I could run downtown on the subway and audition. I wish I'd said something to the waiters."
-- Marcia Gay Harden, telling reporters backstage about people she wished she'd thanked during her best supporting actress acceptance speech. (She did, of course, remember to thank her lawyer.)
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Oops!
Anyone looking for a sneak preview of the writings of budding novelist Britney Spears, need look no further than Yahoo!, which is publishing the pop star's "Pepsi Commercial Diary."
I'm sure you'll be shocked to discover that every sentence ends with an exclamation point! Here are some excerpts!
"I love the jingle so much I just can't get it out of my mind!"
"The first thing I did after hair, makeup & wardrobe (which took the standard 2 hours! Oh the beauty routines!!) was to checkout the adorable Pepsi Top belly ring for me to wear!"
"My outfit today was so cool!"
"Thanks Pepsi!"
Fitting, I suppose, that it was on Yahoo!
!!!!!
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Miss something? Read yesterday's Nothing Personal.
Shares