Oh dear. Anna Nicole Smith is feeling sorry for herself again. And she'd like you to feel sorry for her, too.
"I think people should f***ing feel sorry for me," the busty widow tells the U.K. Mirror.
Why? Well, in addition to the fact that she's lost her Mr. Moneybags hubby, her beloved homes and, for a while at least, her mind ("I was f***ing bloopers," she says of a "nervous breakdown" she had as she faced her husband's family in court), she's having a hard time getting a date.
"I've never really had any friends," she says. "And now men don't even ask me out. I can't remember the last time I was asked out on a date, and I'm talking years here ... I spend my life more and more alone."
Nevertheless, Smith says, she wouldn't mind having another baby. (She has a son -- though not by her ex, J. Howard Marshall, who once offered her a bit of sperm in a cup that she never put to use.) In fact, if she scores the hundreds of millions of bucks she's seeking from Marshall's estate, she'd like to "get me a house with a lot of land and get me a bunch of animals and I'd have another baby. Oh, absolutely."
But, she tells the paper, "If I have another child, I doubt I'll get married again. I don't think men particularly want to be with me."
Or maybe it's she who doesn't want them. She says she doesn't trust "young, pretty men," because "they screw you one day and screw someone else the next." And -- oh, the bitter irony! -- she feels she can't be too careful about gold-diggers these days.
"You never know if they like you for who you are or what you are," she says. "Would he love me or the money? I think I'd rather just have a man to father a child for me. Don't get me wrong, I like men. I love them. And I do miss sex, oh I do. It drives me insane, actually."
Well, I guess that explains it then.
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Arnold, going for the gov?
"It is now almost certain that I will enter politics. I want to do it because I love this country."
-- Arnold Schwarzenegger in an interview with Austria's Die Krone newspaper.
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Donny the inspiration
Can't decide whether to blame society or pop culture or Marshall Mathers' own mother for Eminem's angry rap? Blame Donny Osmond instead.
After all, Osmond blames himself.
When the two singers found themselves at the same party recently, Osmond told Wall of Sound, "I saw him in the corner, so I walked on over and I said, 'Eminem, I'm Donny Osmond.'
"And he goes, 'I know you! When I was growing up in Detroit, I used to listen to you all the time. You were a big influence on me.'
"So there you go -- it's my fault! But he was very nice, very well spoken. A lot of people hate him, but I enjoyed meeting him."
Guess Stan's no longer the rapper's No. 1 fan.
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He stepped into a burning ring of fire
"It was exhausting and it was scary. I felt a burning sensation in my throat."
-- Magician David Copperfield on his latest televised feat, in which he stood in the center of a man-made 140 mph tornado of fire for 10 seconds.
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Juicy bits
Will someone please tell Tom Green and Drew Barrymore the "we're engaged ... no, we're broken up ... no, we're married" talk is starting to wear a little thin? The latest: Green has just told USA Today that he and his beloved got hitched in Los Angeles a "couple of weeks ago." But his publicist says the two got married out of the country. Whatever.
You know, the Jerks Anonymous stuff was one thing, but the items on the backstage concert rider for Moby's "Autumn 1999" concert tour, dug up by those intrepid sifters at the Smoking Gun, really set the mind to wondering. In addition to requesting that his dressing room be packed with organic fruit juice, a "large tub of hummus" and "12 sachets of Emer'gen-C multivitamin sachets or equivalent," the vegan technopopster also insists that he be provided with "10 pairs of white cotton crew socks and 10 cotton boxer shorts." "Egad!" TSG's Bill Bastone exclaims. "He has concert promoters shop for his underwear." Or maybe he just sweats a lot onstage.
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