Lord of the Dance, king of the melodramatic description?
Irish step dancer Michael Flatley was scared ... very scared ... very, very scared by the stalker who breached security at his Monte Carlo manse while he slept the other night.
Sure, the furtive fellow ran away when Flatley awoke and gave chase. And yes, local police are pretty sure that the intruder was an overly enthusiastic fan, rather than a sticky-fingered thief. But that doesn't make the hoofer feel any better now.
"It's no exaggeration that what happened now feels like a rape," Flatley told the Irish Mirror. "He was standing there waiting for me."
Maybe he just wanted a few lessons.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Singin' the casting couch blues
"I had a small part, so that proves that sleeping with the director does not open all the doors as wide as you may like."
-- Uma Thurman on working with her husband, Ethan Hawke, in his directorial debut, "Chelsea Walls," which opened at Cannes on Friday.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Is this why they call him King of Pain?
Sting would like to clear up that rumor about his sexual stamina.
He cannot -- cannot -- go for eight hours at a stretch, no matter what Marilu Henner once said.
In all honesty, he tells E! Online, with meditation, he's probably good for four, five hours -- tops.
"I think men should be more attentive to the needs of their women folk," he says. "Maybe not eight hours, though. Eight hours includes dinner and a movie."
But possibly not dessert.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
As opposed to ...?
"I enjoy trying to keep it real for real."
-- Will Smith, on what has inspired him to branch out beyond acting and music and into writing children's books.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
A Palm in her hand, a thong in her heart ...
Next time you ride a taxi in New York, you might want to keep an eye out for Monica Lewinsky's Palm Pilot.
Lewinsky tells the Los Angeles Times that she got herself the Palm V, on which she keeps her schedule and all her names and addresses, to replace her beloved Filofax.
"I got it after having left my Filofax in taxis three times," she says.
And if you do find the forgetful handbag designer's Palm, I'm sure you'll do just what all the people who found her Filofax did: Give it back.
"I was very lucky," she says of the miraculous boomerang effect. "I guess none of those people who found it were journalists."
Or Kenneth Starr.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Juicy bits
Apparently, you can't go around calling Kate Moss a lush and a sloth and get away with it. The British supermodel has won an apology and undisclosed damages from the U.K. Daily Mail for printing a "false and completely unfounded" report that she'd showed up at a photo session completely blotto and unable to work in July 1999. Next thing you know they'll be calling her fat.
No accounting for taste. According to the New York Post, Kid Rock has dumped Sheryl Crow for Pamela Anderson. Kid and Pam have apparently been spotted slobbering all over each other, all over the country. Watch for the movie, coming soon to a Web site near you ...
It was a thriller of a rumor, but, alas, it wasn't true. Michael Jackson has no intention of doing the right thing and selling his rights to 200 Beatles songs. "The Beatles catalog is not for sale, has not been for sale, and never will be for sale," Jackson told the press last week. What's more, he said, Billie Jean is not his lover.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Miss something? Read yesterday's Nothing Personal.\
Shares