Just because "Survivor" loser Amber Brkich didn't pose for Playboy doesn't mean she wasn't ready to reveal herself. The skin she shows on the cover of Stuff magazine's July issue is just the tip of the (r)iceberg.
Inside the magazine, Brkich takes the opportunity to rat out runner-up Colby Donaldson's regrettably unrosy palms.
"He amazed himself at how long he had gone without masturbating," Brkich shares.
As for big winner Tina Wesson's palms, Brkich suspects they were itching for the cash from the start. "People think, 'Sweet, innocent little Tina,' and she wasn't at all. I think she was the most conniving one out there."
But not the prettiest one. "I definitely think the outback took a toll on her. It's ridiculous how bad she looked on the show," the administrative assistant opines. "But the first time I saw her afterwards, I didn't know who she was. I think she could have gotten things lifted here and there."
And even Bryant Gumbel isn't safe from Brkich's beefin'. "On TV," she says, "he was sooo rude to me."
Guess you don't hang out with Jerri Manthey for weeks on end and learn nothin' ...
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Jacko's jammies
"He's not reclusive at all. When I'm at Neverland Valley, I walk into his room whenever I want. I make fun of his yellow pajamas."
-- Rabbi Shmuley Boteach on how Michael Jackson's open-door bedroom policy proves he's really just a normal guy.
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Juicy bits
Yesterday, all Paul McCartney's troubles seemed so far away. Then John Lennon was killed and, Paul says, people started to credit his late band mate with way more of the Beatles genius than was his due. This kind of "revisionism," McCartney said on "Larry King Live" this week, really "gets up [his] nose." "You can't blame people," he told King. "You know, there's a lot of sympathy. It was such a shocking way to go that you want to try and give him everything." But he'd rather not give anything to Lennon's widow, Yoko Ono. "We don't get along," he says, "but you know, it's like some people you may be destined to not become great buddies with." Didn't Lennon say that?
Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake are not dead, despite what a couple of Dallas DJs would have you believe. After KEGL-FM jokesters Kramer & Twitch reported on the air that the perky pop duo had met their untimely demise in an L.A. car accident, the Los Angeles Fire Department received so many calls from anxious fans, it was forced to put a message on its answering machine reporting that it had "no knowledge of a well-known singer and her boyfriend" being involved in an accident. Just what you want to hear if you're calling in to report a fire ...
The lambs will not be silenced. Variety reports that Anthony Hopkins is considering slipping into Dr. Hannibal Lecter's rather icky shoes for yet another sequel to "The Silence of the Lambs." This one will be based on Thomas Harris' novel "Red Dragon," in which the Dr. Lecter character made his debut. Honestly, if I have to endure another batch of Chianti and fava bean jokes, I may eat my own arm.
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Where's Dr. Lecter when you need him?
Speaking of self-destructive tendencies ...
That irrepressible oversharer Angelina Jolie (who recently insisted that she does have some secrets she's kept from the rest of us) has decided to grace us all with a rather cheery story of her darkest hour.
"This is going to sound insane," she tells the Internet Movie Database, "but there was a time I was going to hire somebody to kill me."
Fortunately (unfortunately?) Jolie's hit man turned out to be something of an amateur psychologist. "The person spoke very sweetly to me, he made me think about it for a month. And, after a month, other things changed in my life and I was surviving again."
Why didn't she just do the job herself? "With suicide comes all the guilt of people around you thinking they could have done something," Jolie explains. "With somebody being murdered, nobody takes some kind of guilty responsibility."
Unless, of course, you count the murderer ...
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