Divorces don't hardly get more amicable than this whole Drew Barrymore-Tom Green thing.
Things are so pleasant in Splitsville, it seems, that, as of Tuesday night, when she showed up at a benefit in New York, Barrymore hadn't bothered to remove her wedding ring. And when she was asked about the reports of the separation, the actress merely smiled mysteriously and said, "Thank you."
Wha?
And if Green's statement, released to the press on Monday, seemed strangely gushy and, well, gushily strange, Barrymore's official statement seems only slightly less so:
"Yes, it is true we decided to part," she confirmed. "He has always been a great friend and that won't change."
The prank-lovin' couple's ... er, ex-couple's flacks insist that the split's all on the up and up, but then again, I recall hearing something similar about all those faux weddings of theirs.
One person who's not at all surprised by the split: the mother of Barrymore's first husband, Jeremy Thomas, to whom she was married for a whopping six weeks back in 1994.
"She was charming but I'm sure she is a difficult woman," Norah Thomas says of her former daughter-in-law in the U.K. Mirror. "I don't know what she is looking for and I'm sure she doesn't either."
And you thought your mother-in-law was cold.
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Or sexagenarian ones, either
"He is not number five; you can't count teenage marriages."
-- Joan Collins, 68, on her fifth husband, Percy Gibson, who is 32 years her junior.
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Big Mac
The love you make may be equal to the love you take, but don't go suggesting to the future Mrs. Paul McCartney that she's on the make and out to take. It hurts her feelings.
Heather Mills says people have called her a gold digger since she started going out with McCartney, who, with a net worth of #700 million, was fairly recently determined to be the richest man in the U.K., if memory serves.
"If I was going to go out with anybody for their money, it would be with someone a lot richer," Mills said in a radio interview this week. "There are a lot of people who are a lot richer, believe me."
What's more, she said, "he knows and I know why I'm with him. There are more reasons NOT to be with him, but he's just a great guy."
And what's wrong with that? She needs to know. 'Cause here she goes ... again ...
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Don't tell her not to shoot
"Then they said at the end 'We hope and pray that there is no profanity in your speech.' So of course I did take that as an invitation and I did swear and I felt much better afterwards."
-- Madonna on why she decided to swear as she presented the Turner Prize live on British TV earlier this month, on the "Today" show.
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Lee says, she says
Roll up the trailer windows. Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee are flinging the mud like crazy.
A California judge has tossed aside Anderson's request that Lee be granted only supervised access to their two kids, Brandon, 5, and Dylan, 3, onaccounta she says he's an unfit father.
But not before both Anderson and Lee got in a few digs at each other.
Anderson, for her part, told the court that Lee is a "very angry, unstable man who presents a danger to others, particularly when he is using alcohol, as he is presently doing," according to court papers cited in the New York Post and the New York Daily News.
The ex-"Baywatch" babe also claims that Lee instructed the kids that "reading is a stupid way to learn," put them at the mercy of his Rottweiler and coached them so they "repeatedly return home and call me a 'freak.'"
Lee countered that his lifestyle was healthy as pie and said he found it "ironic that [Anderson] questions me as a role model [when her current boyfriend, Kid Rock] has appeared on television with a marijuana joint rolled behind his ear."
What's more, he says, he has "not been described as crawling around on my hands and knees drunk at major functions," as he claims Anderson apparently was after attending the Kentucky Derby.
Oh, and another thing. "I recently spoke with Brandon's teacher and was told that he had been using the 'F' word at school," Lee says. "Brandon told the teacher that he had learned the word from his mommy."
Or maybe they learned it from reading.
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