Baring her microscopic midriff is one thing. But Britney Spears has no intention -- none whatsoever -- of unveiling her prize assets in front of the camera, despite rumors to the contrary.
"I read in some magazine that I wanted to take my top off" in her new film, "Crossroads," the pop princess recently told Reuters. "I would never, ever do that!"
In fact, Spears says, she insisted the filmmakers tone down the steamier scenes in the PG-13 film so all viewers will catch her doing is just some mild sucking of face.
"I would never be able to do a sex scene," she says. "It's awkward enough kissing someone."
As for all that "never, ever" talk about real-live nookie, Spears is sounding less convincing than ever. She says she deeply regrets ever bringing up the subject of virginity.
"I mean, I would love to try and do that ... I would really like that," she says, re. having sex with her live-in boyfriend, Justin Timberlake. "But when that day comes, and maybe that happens, I'm just gonna be ... or, starting now, I'm going, like, that's a personal question!"
Not a girl, not quite a convincing fibber ...
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Set her straight, Britney ...
"They're very round and perky. Everybody just says that I have the boobs of a 16-year-old because they seem to defy gravity, but I didn't realize that all girls weren't like this."
-- "Undeclared" star Monica Keena, single-handedly threatening to set off a new outbreak of the dread mammarius self-approbitis, in Stuff.
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Bruce the believer
Bruce Willis ... talks to dead people?
Willis has told the U.K. Sun that he's been in contact with his brother Robert, who died of cancer last year, with a little help from his friendly neighborhood medium.
"This woman is someone who can receive information from the other side," the notably quotable actor told the tabloid. "She began speaking in the voice of my brother, cursing like he did."
This woman sounded so f---ing much like Robert, it seems, Willis found himself weeping whopping tears of gratitude.
"Tears rolled down my face, and now I know the switch is not turned off, that there is life after death," he says. "I don't know how it works ... but I believe it."
Amazing what a few well-placed swear words will do.
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Walrus of Love meets lovelorn sharks
"Nothing has happened yet, but we hope that if anyone can persuade them it will be Barry White."
-- Karen Hewlett, an aquarist at the National Sea Life Centre in Birmingham, England, on the aquarium's decision to use White's sexy music as an aphrodisiac for its less libidinous sharks, to CNN.
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J.Lawyer
If Jennifer Lopez's mother had her way, J.Lo. would have spent more time in court than even her ex-boyfriend Sean "Puffy/P. Diddy" Combs.
"I think her mom wanted her to be a lawyer ... to have a secure job with a pension," Rebecca Anderson, who studied dance at the same studio as J.Lo way back when, recalls on VH1's "Driven: Jennifer Lopez," a look back at Lopez's roots, which airs next Tuesday. "Her mother wanted her to think of the future, and there was a strain that way between the two of them."
Patrick Connallon, Lopez's religion teacher at Preston High School in the Bronx, thinks Mama Lopez had a point.
"I think if Jennifer put her mind to be a lawyer, she'd be an excellent lawyer," he muses on the show. "It was that combination of drive and passion and ambition and intelligence that if she wanted to do something, she would do it."
Des Calderon, Lopez's dance instructor, however, thought the whole stability thing was altogether overrated.
"I turned to her and I said, 'You have to drop out of school,'" Calderon said. "'You are too talented to be going to business school.' I mean, who goes to business school?"
Generally speaking, would-be MBAs.
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