Kids can be so cruel

Nonstop teasing, Dunst recalls; LeBlanc gloats over "Survivor" thrashing; Woody Allen -- alien? Plus: Bj

Published May 2, 2002 4:07PM (EDT)

If you ever come across Kirsten Dunst, you'd be kind to refrain from making foghorn noises. They upset her.

"When I was in grade school in New Jersey, my classmates used to tease me mercilessly about my last name calling me 'Dunce Dunst' or saying 'Duh' all the time when I walked by," the "Spider-Man" star tells celebrity researcher Baird Jones.

Her mother, seeking to rectify the situation, told her to tell her classmates that Dunst actually was German for "fog."

So she did. But somehow, it failed to stop the torment.

"Then, whenever I came to school or during tense silences in class, some bully would inevitably bellow out a foghorn noise, which I felt was much worse than being called Dunce Dunst," she recalls. "I wished I'd never told anyone what my name meant."

But she learned a valuable lesson. "When I got to Hollywood, I told reporters that Dunst means 'mist' not 'fog' in German. It's much more romantic sounding that way."

Duh.

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Those wacky Brits and their bum love

"I do love my bum. It's not skinny, it's not flat but I can deal with that. I like it regardless of what anyone else thinks."

-- Sixteen-year-old singer Charlotte Church on her apparently commendable behind, which has just been voted the U.K. "Rear of the Year," to Ananova.com.

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Survive this

Attention, Mark Burnett.

Matt LeBlanc would like to tell you how good it felt to stomp "Survivor's" heinie in the ratings.

"I mean, personally, it didn't matter one way or another. But on some level, yeah, it feels good," the "Friends" star told EW.com, speaking of his show's success this year against the reality TV show. "If it's going to be a ratings game and it's going to be 'pitted against ...,' then yeah, it feels good to kick their f---in' ass."

Not that it was such a difficult kickin'.

"For us, it was like, 'Oh, finally, a little competition. Right on. Make it interesting over there,'" LeBlanc says, showing a little of that Joey swagger. "It's like playing a game of tennis with people who suck and you're good at it. And you play 50 guys and they all suck and you kill 'em in straight sets. Then finally someone shows up and makes a point and you go, 'Heeey, OK. Nice.'"

Hey, how you doin'?

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Takes one to know one?

"He's sort of like an alien."

-- George Hamilton on Woody Allen to TV Guide Online.

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Juicy bits

Remember when Björk dropped an egg on the red carpet at the Oscars a couple years back? Well -- hold the swan dress -- the Icelandic singer is reportedly hatching a little egg of her very own. According to her London management company, Björk and her boyfriend, New York sculptor and video artist Matthew Barney, are expecting a baby. It is her second child. Her son, Sindri, is 15 and lives with his father, Thor Eldron. And I don't know what became of that carpet-rollin' egg ...

Michael Jackson, director? So it seems. The noseless pop star is reportedly teaming up with writer/director Bryan Michael Stoller to bring Jennings Michael Burch's book "They Cage the Animals at Night" to the big screen. "He was the one who brought this book to me. It deals with orphans, and Michael always felt that he grew up as an orphan because, in a way, he missed out on his childhood," Stoller tells the Hollywood Reporter. "We're both big kids, and we feel that when it comes to their emotions, we'd be able to draw that out for the big screen."

Speaking of drawing out emotions on the big screen ... Jerry Springer is fixing to do a star turn in a feature film. According to the St. Petersburg Times, the master of trash TV will play a reality TV show producer in the flick "Citizen Jury." Talk about typecasting ...

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Miss something? Read yesterday's Nothing Personal.


By Amy Reiter

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Celebrity Michael Jackson