Whoa boy. Did Penthouse pick the wrong woman to run nude photos of, or what?
Turns out it's definitely not tennis pro Anna Kournikova in that 12-page photo spread the magazine touts as "EXCLUSIVE ANNA KOURNIKOVA CAUGHT ON NUDE BEACH," as Kournikova has insisted. The zaftig woman in question is apparently the deep-pocketed wife of a Benetton heir, Judith E. Soltesz-Benetton, in nekkid sunbathing photos of her that were snapped, she says, without her knowledge on a beach in Miami ... seven years ago.
And she's not very happy about it.
In fact, she's gone out and slapped the magazine with a big, hairy lawsuit -- and has already succeeded in stopping Bob Guccione's peeps from distributing any more copies of the magazine and from running her image on its Web site.
"It is difficult for me adequately to convey the non-monetary harm I am suffering," Soltesz-Benetton, now 28, said in an affidavit posted on the Smoking Gun. "I am the mother of a 2-year-old, with another child due in five months. I cannot overemphasize my horror at being displayed nude in a magazine issue that also, among other things, (a) contains a fully nude pictorial of a woman performing fellatio on a plastic male member while fantasizing about being a slave who is raped by an ancient Roman warrior, (b) features two women performing sexual acts upon each other, (c) contains other pictures of women masturbating and penetrating themselves, and (d) shows another woman performing oral sex on, and having intercourse with, a man."
And we don't even want to know about (e).
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The innocence of youth
"It's horrible to be a sex object at any age, but at least when you're an adult you can make the decision if you want to degrade yourself."
-- Natalie Portman, expressing gratitude for her parents for discouraging her from taking "sexual" roles as a kid, in the U.K. Sun.
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Here we go again
Attention, Pamela Anderson. Tommy Lee's callin' you a liar. Though that's hardly the worst thing he's saying about you these days.
The former Mötley Crüe drummer says his ex-wife has made up all that stuff about her contracting hepatitis C by sharing a tattoo needle with him.
"There's no tattoo artist in the world that would ever [do that]," Lee tells the Toronto Sun. "They always break out their packaged, sterilized needles. That's against the law for them. So I don't know where she's getting all that."
He suspects it's all coming from a very bitter place within the former "Baywatch" babe.
"All I can say is she's so angry at just everything, the world," Lee says. "She's the angriest person I've ever seen, at this point. She's trying to take my kids from me. That is insane thinking ... I've really had it with her. She just makes me absolutely crazy."
But Lee, who sounds more than a little angry himself, says he has nothing but good will toward Anderson's current squeeze, Kid Rock.
"When I see him ... I was going to give him a big hug and a kiss and actually tell him thanks for taking her off my hands. I swear to God, that's the first thing I would like to do. 'Now you can deal with her. Thank you,'" he says.
As for his own love life, Lee insists he's through seeing stars.
"My next relationship will absolutely be with somebody who's not famous, because that tends to bring a little bit more to the party," he tells the Canadian paper. "I keep saying that my next girl is going to be the girl that sells makeup at the mall, I swear to God."
Quick, ladies, hide behind the mascara display.
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He can't smile without them
"I am proud to be the housewives' favorite, I got no problem with that. These are great, great people."
-- Barry Manilow, accepting his place in the world, in Ananova.com.
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Juicy bits
The media's been blamed for a lot of things, but Mike Tyson may be the first one to hold it responsible for his stinky sex life. "You guys have written so much bad stuff about me, I can't remember the last time I [bleeped] a decent woman," Tyson recently told a Memphis sports writer, according to the New York Post. "I have to go with strippers and whores and [bleeps] because you put that image on me." Bad press to bad sex? That's a big bleeping leap, if you ask me.
Some couples call each other "honey" and "sweetie." Heather Mills and Paul McCartney apparently prefer pet names like "Mr. Patel." Mills tells the U.K. Sun that, when she and the former Beatle first started dating, she employed several code names for him when she phoned him, in order to keep their relationship secret for as long as possible. McCartney would also apparently respond to the names "Lord Jock of Dundee," "Vladimir" and "the Russian masseur." Heather, dear, there are some things the press really doesn't need to know ...
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