Claudia Schiffer really doesn't want you to see her in her wedding gown.
The German supermodel, who married British film producer Matthew Vaughn in England on Saturday before guests including Sting, Madonna, Brad Pitt and Boris Becker, was so intent on not allowing any of us to get a gander of her Valentino "fairy tale" silk frock, she actually slithered from chapel to vehicle after the ceremony covered in blankets.
An umbrella was held over her head to prevent photographers from snapping her picture from above, prompting hopeful onlookers to boo the bride.
All the secrecy might have had something to do with the supermodel's reported deal with Hello magazine, guaranteeing her more than $600,000 for the exclusive rights to photograph the nuptials ... except Schiffer is said to have exercised her right of "final approval" and blocked publication of the photos the magazine's editors picked.
According to Peoplenews.com, Schiffer didn't like the way the photos were being used and insisted that they be held for the next issue.
Claudia's message to the world: "Ich bin ein big pain in the ass."
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Yeah, baby
"Mike Myers just looks at me in his evil, sexy way and I want to laugh until I cry, but I can't cry or my makeup will run. It's a horrible dilemma."
-- Mindy Sterling, who plays Frau Farbissina in the "Austin Powers" flicks, on the exigencies of playing opposite Evil, in the Chicago Sun-Times.
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Sibilant siblings
Whatever else you wanna say about Sylvester Stallone, you gotta admit, the man likes alliteration.
Stallone and his wife, Jennifer Flavin Stallone, have just named their brand-new baby daughter "Scarlet Rose."
And while Scarlet Stallone might smell as sweet by any other name, it wouldnt have been a stretch to predict that her tag would start with the letter "S."
Her older sisters are named Sophia and Sistine, and her half-brothers are Sergio and Sage Stallone.
I hope none of them lisps.
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Refreshing boob-tube perspective
"I'm just an actor, and ratings are a matter of high-end programming and large breasts."
-- Parker Lewis, a new regular on the TV show "Stargate SG-1," predicting that his presence will have no effect whatsoever on the series' ratings, on TV Guide Online.
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J. Lo-maintenance?
Is Jennifer Lopez paying actors to tell the world how swell she is, or what?
Her latest booster? "ER" star Noah Wyle.
Wyle has told the British press that, when he began working with Lopez in the film "Enough," "my expectation was that she'd be late, maybe a little unprepared - and when I got to the set she was there, she was prepared. She was singing show tunes, keeping the crew laughing."
But wait, that's not all. There's more to Wyle's ringing endorsement.
"I got to see very quickly why she's as famous as she is and why she's as successful as she is," he says. "She puts 110 percent of herself in everything that she does. When she wasn't shooting, she was training. When she wasn't training, she was shooting, and I was incredibly impressed with her."
Get that check in the mail, J. Lo ... stat.
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