I suppose it's not unusual for someone to kick one addiction and replace it with another. But Andy Dick has replaced his addiction to alcohol and drugs with three -- count 'em, three -- new addictions.
"My addictions are now sex, coffee and furniture shopping," Dick shares in the upcoming issue of Spin.
And even though you'd think it was the java that keeps him up at night, it turns out it's the irrepressible urge for couches and coffee tables.
"I can lie in bed for hours with my mind reeling about furniture," he says. "At night, I've driven around to look in store windows, trying to see price tags."
As for the sex addiction, Dick's not exactly fighting it. In fact, he's investing in all sorts of things to help it along. For instance, he's really into lubricants.
"I love that Astroglide stuff," he tells the music mag. "If I find it in a store, I buy a bunch, even though it makes me look like a sex fiend."
Oh, and he greases his spokes in other ways, too.
"I love porno," he says. "I can't get enough."
Especially if he's sitting on a new couch with a cup of joe in one hand and we're not saying what in the other ...
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Andy Dick might like this ...
"There was a monkey masturbating on a tree. But one of my personal favorites is this woman who had an egg between her butt cheeks and cracked it."
-- Daisy Fuentes on memorable submissions to "America's Funniest Home Videos" that never made it on the air, in Stuff magazine.
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Let's not hear it for the boy
If you ever come across Kevin Bacon at a wedding or bar mitzvah -- or even just walking down the street -- whatever you do, don't mention the F-word. He really, really hates that.
"For 15 years of my life, every time I went to a wedding, a bar mitzvah, a club, or a disco, the disc jockey would play 'Footloose,' at which point people would form a circle around me and start to clap in unison, expecting me to start flipping and performing like a trained monkey," the actor gripes in an interview with Biography magazine.
And sometimes it doesn't even take a DJ to get the crowd cooking.
"I hate when I walk down the street and someone yells, 'Hey, Footloose!'" he says. "I have literally made dozens of movies after that, but somehow there are people who still expect me to wear my hair spiky and dance around like a kid."
Everybody cut, everybody cut ...
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Tips on being flush with success
"I'm kind of curious to take notes and ask things like 'So, when you're on the toilet and someone asks you for an autograph, how do you respond?''"
-- Julia Stiles on what she hopes to learn from Julia Roberts when they meet on the set of "Mona Lisa Smile," to Empire Online.
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Get well soon
Sad to report, celebrity sick wards are packed this week. Gordon Lightfoot is in intensive care in Canada, suffering from an undisclosed condition. Jerry Lewis is recovering after collapsing in London. Patty Duke is healing after being kicked in the head by a horse in Idaho. Willie Nelson has been treated for a broken blood vessel in his nose. And Mini-Me Verne Troyer is being nursed back to health after an emergency appendectomy last week.
But the biggest star to fall ill has got to be Keiko, the killer whale who starred in "Free Willy" and who has been reluctant to embrace the freedom his handlers have sought to give him. The whale, who showed up off the coast of Norway last week, has now taken ill with what may be a respiratory infection or simply stress, Reuters reports.
Veterinarians on the case have started feeding Keiko herring and encouraging him to exercise.
Now, don't go suggesting that for Jerry, too. He can't help the weight gain -- it's the steroids. Really, you people are too cruel.
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