Startling news for all those adolescent boys getting all hot and bothered by Angelina Jolie as Lara Croft in the upcoming "Tomb Raider" sequel.
Much of the time, Lara Croft is being played by a man, baby.
According to the London Daily Mail, Jolie's body double for some of her more perilous stunts is a fellow outfitted with Croft-like brown hair, designer sunglasses and tight garb.
Oh, and a couple of other things, too.
"We managed to fit him with a pair of false breasts, which didn't look too bad," an insider on the set recently told the tabloid.
But then there were a few other problems.
"When it came to Lara's tight-fitting trousers there was very little we could do about this guy's shape," the source said. "His relevant bits were strapped down, and it can't have been very comfortable for him, but with clever camera angles and lighting, the audience will never know the difference."
Now they will.
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Eminem: Mama's boy?
"People should know that when they look at Eminem and think what a cool, tough guy he is, they should remember that he actually lived at home with his mom until he was 26."
-- Eminem's mother , Debbie Mathers, on her son's reluctance to cut the umbilical cord, on Peoplenews.com.
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Say his name ... correctly
Dear David Letterman.
The next time Jake Gyllenhaal -- or his sister Maggie, for that matter -- is on your show, please try to pronounce his name correctly. It would mean a lot to the young actor.
"My last name simply means 'golden hall' in Swedish but it really gets butchered in English," Jake, who has appeared in "The Good Girl" and "Lovely and Amazing," told celebrity researcher Baird Jones the other night at the premiere party for "The Secretary," in which Maggie stars.
"Sometimes it just comes out funny, like when I was on David Letterman plugging my next movie, 'Moonlight Mile,' and Letterman kept calling me 'Jill-and-Ham' the whole time," he says.
Other people find a way to get 'guile' or 'jilted' in there, but Gyllenhaal would like you all to know, it's pronounced Gill-en-hall.
Are we clear now, Dave?
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Angst over angst
"They only go to me for angst."
-- Ralph Fiennes bemoaning the dearth of comedy parts he's offered, in the London Express.
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Juicy bits
Guess what? Marilyn Manson's been painting something other than his face. The goth rocker has painted a series of watercolors depicting people who look like him, people who look like corpses and then people who look like Hitler ... only with a female body. His work is now on sale as part of an exhibit called "The Golden Age of Grotesque" in Los Angeles. "I make things that most people would consider grotesque a little bit prettier," Manson told the press. And I must say, Hitler, as depicted by Manson, does have a nice set of jugs.
On to happier news ... A film version of "Bewitched" -- starring Nicole Kidman. According to the Hollywood Reporter, the ex-Mrs. Cruise is in talks to make the most of her perky nose and play the role of Samantha, everyone's favorite newlywed witch. Producers are also said to be courting Mike Myers to play her befuddled husband, Darren. Or is that Darwood?
And heeeere's a denial from Johnny Carson that he's seriously ill. Carson's people have confirmed that, yes, Carson is suffering from emphysema as the National Enquirer reports, but that no, he's not, like, dying or anything. "I'm dealing with it the best I can and it is not causing me any major problems," Carson told the press this week. I guess we'll know it's bad when Ed McMahon stops laughing.
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