Poor Moby never gets any breaks.
But he did get a bunch of cuts and bruises the other night, when, after playing a concert at a Boston club, he got beaten up by three mace-wielding men.
Outside the club, "there were a few people waiting for autographs, so as usual I stopped to sign a few things," Moby writes in his Web journal, "and then all of a sudden I was attacked by (I believe) three men with mace. They punched me from behind and I really had no idea what was going on."
He figured that maybe he'd gotten caught in the middle of someone else's bar fight.
"But no," he laments, these fellas only had fists for him.
"After being punched in the head from behind a few times, I turned around to see what was going on and one of them punched me in the face a couple of times and then they all ran away," he says.
But Moby wants us all to know that he'll be fine.
"It was a really great night apart from the ending," he insists, having filed a police report and mulled over his misfortunes.
And he'd specifically like his malefactors to know that he's not angry.
"I don't feel vindictive," he reports. "Not to sound weird or wimpy, but I'm a pacifist and I believe in forgiveness. I just hope that at some point in these guys' lives they come to realize that hurting other people is wrong."
He is, however, a little confused as to what he did to deserve the beating.
"Maybe they don't like skinny bald guys who play cover songs," he writes. "I'm sure that's it. It's my fault."
That could be it, and if so, I sure hope Eminem has an airtight alibi ...
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Daddy's little girl
"It truly is the most unconditional thing ever. She could fucking hang me by my balls and pull out my toenails and I'd still love her ... I mean, if that were my wife, I'd have to divorce her as soon as possible."
-- Phish's Jon Fishman on the marvels of fatherhood and his deep, abiding love for his baby daughter, in Relix.
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Gwyn's new guy
Take that, Ben Affleck.
Your ex, Gwyneth Paltrow, may have found true love, too.
Paltrow's two-month-long flirtation with Coldplay's Chris Martin is reportedly heating up, big-time.
According to the U.K. Sun, the actress, who's in London filming "Ted and Sylvia," even flew her mother, Blythe Danner, in to meet Martin over dinner at Sting and Trudie Styler's house.
Mother and beau reportedly got on famously.
"I think Chris was really nervous but he carried himself off really well," a chatty Gwynnie pal told the tabloid. "Blythe absolutely loves him. She thinks he's the best boyfriend Gwyneth has ever had. He was very charming."
And now Paltrow is said to be planning to spend the holidays with Martin's family before the couple jets off for a vacation.
"As far as Gwyneth is concerned, the sky is the limit now," the buddy gushes. "She is head over heels and has told us that Chris is the love of her life."
OK, so that does sound a little over-the-top breathless, but it's probably safe to conclude that the two are, you know, dating at least.
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Shockingly sane answer
"Wow. I couldn't tell you. I don't have a favorite."
--- Leonardo DiCaprio, breaking with celebrity tradition and claiming not to have a favorite body part, in the New York Post.
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Juicy bits
Sad news for "Star Trek" fans still hoping to see a certain pointy-eared mister make a spectacular return: Leonard Nimoy has no intention of getting back into movies or TV: "I won't take a job that takes me away [from home] for any length of time -- my life is too good. I've spent too many weeks in trailers on cold locations, hot locations, away from family and home," the actor turned photographer tells the Associated Press. Can't fault his logic.
And then there are those who don't know when to quit while they're ahead. Sylvester Stallone is reportedly in final talks to bring boxer Rocky Balboa back to the big screen for one more geriatric fight. According to the Hollywood Reporter, MGM is negotiating with Stallone to write, star in and produce the movie, which will be true to the low-budget original. Gonna sigh now ...
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