The Fix

Morning Briefing:
Lohan strikes back: Breaking her silence about the angry letter she received last week from her boss at Morgan Creek, the company producing her currently filming "Georgia Rule," Lindsay Lohan wrote to sycophant blogger Perez Hilton last Thursday night to complain about how she'd just seen a couple of kids almost get hit by paparazzi (though she doesn't elaborate) and then, without pause, launch a counterattack. Here's the second half of the e-mail, all sic:

It is disgusting what these g-d damn people are doing to me. As well as the people in my life that I work with/for. Its vulgar and I'm saddened for myself.

"And, ANY of those willing to fall into judging me in any way in the future, or past. Can watch the video tapes that these men/women take of me while they are being invasive towards my DAY off ... Which I never have anymore. (Send that to Morgan Creek)

(Perez Hilton)

Swayze, Foster rise to Mel's aid: The Hollywood line on Mel Gibson's alcohol-fueled anti-Semitic outburst seems oddly akin to the average frat boy's post-party excuse: He was drunk! Jodie Foster insinuated as much in her defense of Gibson in the Los Angeles Times on Friday. "Absolutely not," she told the paper when asked if he's an anti-Semite. "Mel is honest, loyal, kind, but alcoholism has been a lifelong struggle for him and his family." Curiously, Patrick Swayze used almost the exact same argument in support of Mel on Britain's GMTV on Monday. "He is not anti-Semitic," Swayze told the morning show. "People say stupid things when they happen to have a few, and especially if you don't drink anymore, or have limited your drinking for a long time and all of a sudden you decide to have one too many with the boys -- you are stupid." (E! Online, Associated Press)

Joe Francis gone wild: The Sunday Los Angeles Times has a long, bizarre article about "Girls Gone Wild" porn auteur Joe Francis, but it's well worth reading, if only to get to the final few lines. Staff writer Claire Hoffman shadowed Francis for the profile as he hit the clubs, looking for drunken women to appear in his videos. During their time together, Francis made fun of Hoffman -- and ended up twisting the reporter's arm behind her back and pinning her to the hood of a car. Francis later told Hoffman's editor, "I just felt that Claire may have had a little affinity for me." (Los Angeles Times)

Nicholson redecorating for Brando: We'd somehow forgotten that Jack Nicholson was A) Marlon Brando's neighbor for 30 years, B) cared for Brando when he was dying, and C) bought Brando's house for a reported $5.5 million after he died. Now Nicholson is planning to knock down the house, which the Times (U.K.) describes as "dark, cramped and run-down" as well as mold-ridden. He also apparently plans to fill in the pool, and use the vacated plot to grow frangipani flowers. (Times Online)

Also:
Paris Hilton keeps up her public game of sexual cat and mouse, telling British GQ in a recent interview that she's gone celibate: "I'm not having sex for a year ... I'll kiss, but nothing else." (Associated Press) ... Pamela Anderson and Robert "Kid Rock" Ritchie Jr., who just got married in St-Tropez last weekend, tied the knot again this weekend in romantic Detroit. As Anderson writes on her blog: "It's official. Just left the courthouse!!!!!!! Mr and Mrs Ritchie have left the building." (PamelaAnderson.com) ... Oliver Stone denies that he was pressured into keeping politics out of "World Trade Center," telling Rush & Molloy: "I was trying to tell a story that moved people. I wasn't trying to make people happy or be a good boy. I'm a bad boy." (Rush & Molloy) ... Unmoved by the outcry from the Vatican, Madonna's sold-out show in Rome over the weekend -- just a mile from the Vatican City -- included her faux crucifixion, complete with a crown of thorns and a mirrored cross. (Yahoo! News) ... Will Ferrell's "Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby" opened at No. 1 at the box office over the weekend, bringing in an estimated $47 million. (Hollywood Reporter) ... Several of the major record conglomerates -- including Sony BMG, Universal, Warner and EMI -- have formed a coalition to sue the makers of Lime Wire, the file-sharing software, for encouraging people to illegally download music. (Hollywood Reporter) ... A parody song about Zinedine Zidane's career-ending World Cup head butt called "Coup de Boule" has gone to the top of the French music charts. (USA Today)

Money Quote:
Natalie Maines of the Dixie Chicks introducing their song "White Trash Wedding" at a recent concert: "We're giving a shout out to Mel Gibson for our next song. Not for any reason in particular. But maybe if I claimed I was drunk on stage when I made my comments a few years ago [about George W. Bush], people might not have been as upset with us." (Perez Hilton)

-- Scott Lamb

Turn On:
Tonight, Gene Simmons of Kiss introduces his brood to the reality TV cameras in two back-to-back episodes of the new "Gene Simmons' Family Jewels" (A&E, 10 p.m. EDT). And in the first half of an "American Chopper" (Discovery, 10 p.m. EDT) two-parter, Bill Murray commissions the Teutuls to build a bike based on his "Caddyshack" character, Carl, for a charity auction. Also, Oxygen's "Fight Girls" (9 p.m. EDT) special follows seven female Muay Thai (aka Thai boxing) fighters from the U.S. as they train for the World Championship in Thailand.

On the Talk Shows:
Larry King (CNN, 9 p.m. EDT): not available
Charlie Rose (PBS, check local listings): Stem cell panel
David Letterman (CBS, 11:30 p.m. EDT): Meryl Streep, Yellowcard (repeat)
Jay Leno (NBC, 11:35 p.m. EDT): Sen. John McCain, Justin Long, Five for Fighting
Conan O'Brien (NBC, 12:35 a.m. EDT): Kate Beckinsale, Brian Posehn, Metric (repeat)
Craig Ferguson (CBS, 12:35 a.m. EDT): Steve Carell, Lindsay Sloane, the Subway
Jimmy Kimmel (ABC, 12:05 a.m. EDT): Regis Philbin, Trevor Fehrman, Pharrell (repeat)
Jon Stewart (Comedy Central, 11 p.m. EDT): Vali Nasr (repeat)
Stephen Colbert (Comedy Central, 11:30 p.m. EDT): Peter Beinart (repeat)

-- Lamar Clarkson

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