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First Word

Spears and Federline reach settlement: At a five-hour meeting Thursday at her lawyer's office in Los Angeles, Britney Spears hammered out a divorce settlement with her ex, Kevin Federline. "The parties signed a global settlement on all issues of their marriage and the custody of the children," said a spokesman for Federline's lawyer. The terms weren't officially revealed, but a source tells TMZ that they'll have 50/50 joint custody and that Federline will walk away with $1 million. (People, TMZ)

Clooney not the leaker: George Clooney wants the world to know he was not the one who leaked the clip of director David O. Russell yelling at Lily Tomlin that made the YouTube rounds recently (Clooney and Russell also famously got into a fight on the set of "Three Kings"). Writing to Radar and Defamer, Clooney said: "Contrary to popular opinion, neither the sound man, Ed Tise, nor yours truly sent in the David O. Russell tape. I saw it when we were working on 'Ocean's 12,' and there have been quite a few copies traveling around town for the last couple of years. Any rumor that either of us put it on the Internet is simply false. And I'd offer a million bucks to anyone who would prove otherwise." (Defamer, YouTube)

J.Lo banned from the block: Ritmo Latino, the biggest Latino music chain in the U.S., has taken Jennifer Lopez's music off its shelves. The company says that Lopez has turned her back on Hispanic stores. President David Massry told the New York Daily News that Lopez "has refused to promote her new CD in any of our stores" or any other Latino-only outlets. Strange, especially since her latest album, "Como Ama una Mujer," is recorded in Spanish. "We've supported her from the beginning," says Massry. "Now we're told by her record company she will only visit Anglo retail outlets." (N.Y. Daily News)

Talkers

This week in God: Catholic League president Bill Donohue has taken on the creators of "South Park," but now he's leveling his Bible at off-Broadway hit "Stairway to Hell," produced by Jeff Beacher and Randy Weiner. In the musical, a band is accidentally sent to heaven, where it finds a dearth of rock 'n' roll. Weiner, who has hired security guards for the cast, quips, "He [Donohue] says the show deserves to be in hell, so I'm taking it to Vegas where it belongs!" But the show isn't Donohue's only current target. He's also protesting an exhibit at Manhattan's Lab Gallery showcasing Cosimo Cavallaro's "My Sweet Lord" -- a 6-foot-long Jesus made out of chocolate. Donohue calls it "one of the worst assaults on Christian sensibilities ever," and considers it particularly tasteless with Easter being around the corner. (TMZ, BBC)

Foie gras fine: The first fine for a violation of Chicago's ban on foie gras has been handed down to a hot dog vendor in the Windy City. As the New York Times reports, "The city imposed a fine of $250 Thursday on Doug Sohn, the proprietor of Hot Doug's, a restaurant on the city's northwest side that describes itself as a Sausage Superstore and Encased Meat Emporium." ("Hot Dog Menu Draws a $250 Foie Gras Fine," New York Times)

White noise ... Prosecutors in Los Angeles said on Thursday they will ask a judge to reject Paris Hilton's probation, meaning she could face jail time -- she was caught driving with a suspended license in February, but claims she didn't know it was suspended. (Paris Hilton) ... Michael Jackson's (right) spokesperson says the pop star was not hospitalized yesterday, but is at home recovering from whatever ails him: "He was a little under the weather when he returned from Europe. He probably had a bad cold or the flu. But he was never hospitalized." (BBC News) ... More rumors that Nicole Kidman is pregnant -- a source close to the couple says "Nicole and Keith are having a baby. They've been riding on clouds since they got the news. Nicole's been hoping for this day since they got married." (All Headline News) ... Other pregnancy news: Us Weekly reports on rumors that "The Lookout" actress Isla Fisher is pregnant with her first child with fiancé Sacha Baron Cohen. (Us Online)

Judgment

Yuks on ice: Will Ferrell's new ice-skating comedy, "Blades of Glory," is the odds-on favorite to be this weekend's biggest movie. The tale of macho Chazz Michael Michaels (Ferrell) and his onetime skating rival, the effeminate Jimmy MacElroy (Jon Heder), who unite as a skating duo to save their careers, makes much of the male-male skating pair. As Salon's Stephanie Zacharek writes: "On some level, I'm sure you could read 'Blades of Glory' as a brief for the acceptance of gay marriage. But while I don't think 'Blades of Glory' is exactly homophobic -- it's not mean-spirited enough for that -- there's something a little too cheap and easy about the way it plays up to the ultra-straight guys in its target demographic." New York Times critic Stephen Holden disagrees, saying the film "avoids going to the obvious, ugly place for cheap laughs." In the Los Angeles Times, Kevin Crust finds "Blades" is better on ice than off, writing it's "an often hysterical parody as long as bodies are in motion, nailing the compulsories of a sport ripe for caricature, but skates on thinner ice outside the rink."

Kansas City noir: If you're more in the mood for a thriller than another Ferrell sports comedy this weekend, Scott Frank's "The Lookout" is "so refreshingly straightforward that at first you may not know what to make of it," says Zacharek in Salon today. "'The Lookout' is without a doubt a movie made for grown-ups, the kind of picture we used to take for granted but now have to consciously seek out." Matt Zoller Seitz, writing in the New York Times, is less impressed. Noting that the screenplay was long considered one of Hollywood's unproduced gems, he writes that "the end product doesn't justify that buildup," but he still thinks the "movie is worth seeing for its cast." Chicago Sun-Times reviewer Richard Roeper is quite a bit less restrained: "Every once in a great while I walk out of a screening room feeling like a kid on Christmas morning, bursting to share my euphoric mood. It's because I've seen a small film that strikes me as an instant masterpiece -- a movie I know will stay with me for the rest of my life. It happened with 'Reservoir Dogs,' it happened with 'Memento,' it happened with 'In America' -- and it has happened again with 'The Lookout.'"

Buzz Index

• Most viewed story on Yahoo News: "Iran Broadcasts British Sailor's Apology," Associated Press
• Most e-mailed story from the New York Times: "It's Not You, It's Your Apartment"
• Top news story on Technorati: "Dobson Offers Insight on 2008 Republican Hopefuls," U.S. News & World Report
• Top story on Reddit: "The Difference Between a Normal Person and a Scientist," XKCD.com

Turn On

This Friday, Jeff Goldblum's detective series "Raines" (NBC, 9 p.m. EDT) settles into its new time, Tom Pelphrey guest-stars on "Numb3rs" (CBS, 10 p.m. EDT), and Jason Lewis appears on "Six Degrees" (ABC, 9 p.m. EDT). On Sunday, Jonathan Rhys Meyers stars in the premiere of "The Tudors" (Showtime, 10 p.m. EDT), there's a two-hour special of "The Amazing Race: All Stars" (CBS, 8 p.m. EDT), TV scions make their reality show debut on "Sons of Hollywood" (A&E, 10 p.m. EDT), Jerry Seinfeld and Anderson Cooper assemble a panel of comedians in the TV premiere of "Jerry Seinfeld: The Comedian Award" (HBO, 9 p.m. EDT), and "Reno 911!" (Comedy Central, 10:30 p.m.) returns to the small screen for the premiere of its fourth season.

Talk

Fix contributors: Dipayan Gupta, Heather Havrilesky, Scott Lamb, Kerry Lauerman, David Marchese, Laura Miller, Andrew O'Hehir, Amy Reiter, Stephanie Zacharek

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