Words to live by ... sort of

Members of Salon's community, Table Talk, invent their own golden rules this week.

Published November 2, 2007 9:28PM (EDT)

Private Life

Aphorisms, TT-style

Aspidistra - 07:04 pm Pacific Time - Oct 28, 2007 - #1 of 154

People who tell you they have a sense of humor usually don't.

Tinsel - 07:14 pm Pacific Time - Oct 28, 2007 - #4 of 154

When someone says it's not about the money, it's about the money.

javajeanelaine- 07:56 pm Pacific Time - Oct 28, 2007 - #8 of 154

If someone says, "It's not you, it's me," they're right.

Vinca Minor - 09:18 pm Pacific Time - Oct 28, 2007 - #13 of 154

If thou hast things to do and barely enough time in which to do them, open not thy laptop nor connect thou to the Internet.

bobn - 02:23 am Pacific Time - Oct 29, 2007 - #17 of 154

You always hurt the one you run over with your car.

Mabel I Sez - 05:56 am Pacific Time - Oct 29, 2007 - #20 of 154

Analogies are the last refuge of the person who doesn't have a very good argument.

Aquarius - 06:18 am Pacific Time - Oct 29, 2007 - #23 of 154

Everyone thinks they have a good sense of humor, much like everyone thinks they're a good driver.

In both cases, most people are wrong.

BurstOfLethargy - 12:24 pm Pacific Time - Oct 29, 2007 - #40 of 154

Stop listening after "Don't take this the wrong way, but..."

Saffa - 12:39 pm Pacific Time - Oct 29, 2007 - #44 of 154

Never turn down an opportunity to eat, sleep or use the lavatory.

Monsieur Chariot - 09:24 pm Pacific Time - Oct 29, 2007 - #78 of 154

Never allow oneself to be filmed nude under fluorescent lighting in a knife fight at a bathhouse.

kayrob - 09:52 pm Pacific Time - Oct 29, 2007 - #81 of 154

Even a dead patient's vital signs are stable.

Sir Realist - 01:57 pm Pacific Time - Oct 30, 2007 - #109 of 154

The grass is always greener where they ignore the water ration.

kayrob - 10:49 pm Pacific Time - Oct 30, 2007 - #117 of 154

When you're in a hole, stop digging.

Tess - 05:01 am Pacific Time - Oct 31, 2007 - #119 of 154

Never use the words "I'm so bad" to discuss what you're eating unless you have actually stolen it from a starving person.

Aspidistra - 06:27 pm Pacific Time - Oct 31, 2007 - #135 of 154

In every possible permutation of the Universe, bald is way sexier than even the most artful combover.

clemencedane - 07:56 pm Pacific Time - Nov 1, 2007 - #143 of 154

There's a thin line between quirky and self-indulgent.

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