Help keep Salon independent

Quote of the day

Chuck Norris doesn't like anyone muscling in on his territory.

Published

Salon Default

“Did you catch the great showdown this past week? No, not Super Tuesday but the late-night television comedian battle over who discovered and ‘made’ GOP presidential candidate Mike Huckabee. … As I’ve said on many occasions, I helped light the spark for Mike’s campaign, but a spark will go out if it doesn’t have a catalyst behind it. Mike’s character and message turned that spark into a raging fire. And I challenge anyone who hasn’t examined his platform carefully to do so. What awaits is the discovery of a full-fledged conservative.

“Incidentally, regarding the three late-night comedians using my life at the center of their scornful and cynical mocking to justify their positions in creating the Huckaboom, I have something lastly to say: I suppose if I believed all those ‘Chuck Norris Facts’ still circulating on the Internet, I’d have to believe the one today that says, ‘There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.’ Ergo (as Conan has said), one rightfully can conclude, it is I (Chuck Norris) who actually made Conan, Colbert and Stewart — or at least still allow them to live. And just like God might be saying to conservatives even now, I also say to them: Don’t make me come down there.”

— Chuck Norris, writing about the mock controversy between late-night hosts Conan O’Brien, Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart over Mike Huckabee, in a column on Townhall.com.

By Alex Koppelman

Alex Koppelman is a staff writer for Salon.


Related Topics ------------------------------------------

Related Articles