Have you always had a secret crush on Mona from "Who's the Boss?" If so, we've got some great news for you: X-Rated Fusion Liqueur is holding a contest to pick the hottest "brazen beauty" to have seduced younger men on the silver screen. (Or maybe just on your TV. But still.)
To quote: "There have been a number of man-hungry women who have graced television and cinema screens over the years to terrorize and titillate scores of younger men, giving less-educated girls a real run for their money. Champions of fun, provocative passion, your friends at X-Rated Fusion Liqueur have whittled the lusty pack of mature ladies down to these final ten, and are turning it over to you, to crown the hottest cougar of them all."
Among your choices? The decidedly not-that-mature Eva Longoria (Gabrielle Solis in "Desperate Housewives"), Melinda Clarke (Julie Cooper in "The O.C.") and Jennifer Coolidge (Stifler's mom in "American Pie"). But there's also Blanche from "The Golden Girls" and, of course, the original Mrs. Robinson, Anne Bancroft. (She's currently second only to Eva in online votes.)
We got word of this MILF ad campaign from a press release that suggested that "while planning your Mother's Day coverage, [we] consider these delicious cocktail recipes ... which could also fit nicely into any brunch, bachelorette party, or even Ladies' Night Out story."
To which I say, why wait till your next Ladies' Night Out story when you can have a Mrs. Robinson right now? (Yes, each woman has her own cocktail -- in this case, a drink called "Sweet Ben's Pink Lemonade.") "Such ingratitude for his former mentor!" says the drink's description, lamenting Ben's decision to ditch Mrs. R. "If only she had served this spiced up lemonade, maybe she could have kept her man!" If only.
Our response? Why limit your fruity cocktails just to the ladies! Isn't Father's Day just around the corner? So it is with great pleasure that I announce Broadsheet's first-ever FILF cocktail contest. Who have you got your eyes on? Robert Redford? Paul Newman? Bill Clinton? What would each man's signature cocktail be? Let us know -- but please, all submissions must be accompanied by an actual recipe and description of the inspiration behind your drink. We might use them in an upcoming story about brunch.
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