Quotes of the day

The 97 senators not running for president weigh in on whether they'd consider their party's vice-presidential nomination.

Published May 13, 2008 8:18PM (EDT)

The Hill, a Washington newspaper, recently asked all 97 senators not currently running for president what they'd do if asked to be their party's vice-presidential nominee. As anyone who has ever watched a Senate committee hearing might expect, some of the answers were boring, while others showed that the respondents may take themselves just a little too seriously. But some were witty, and funny. Here's my list of what I think were the top 10 responses.

Sen. Lamar Alexander, R-Tenn.
"I know already who it will be: the man in charge of the search. There's no need for me to respond. That's how you get to be vice president."

Sen. Bob Bennett, R-Utah
"Of course. Big house, big car, not much to do. Why not?"

Sen. Robert Byrd, D-W.Va.
"No, I can already preside over the Senate, and I do not enjoy spending a lot of time at 'undisclosed locations.'"

Sen. Tom Carper, D-Del.
"Yes. Sign me up. I've been kidding people for years: The hours are better, the wages are just as good -- whoever heard of a vice president getting shot at? -- and it's a great opportunity to travel. And actually since time has gone by, the job is robust ... So sure. Anybody here would, if they're going to be honest. The chances are slim to none. But I promise you, I would deliver all three of Delaware's electoral votes."

Sen. Larry Craig, R-Idaho
"I would say 'No, Hillary.'"

Sen. Byron Dorgan, D-N.D.
"Are you kidding? Every senator would accept that offer. My guess is that almost every senator looks at themselves in the mirror in the morning and sees either a future president or vice president."

Sen. Judd Gregg, R-N.H.
"No. I don't like going to funerals."

Sen. Daniel Inouye, D-Hawaii
"If I were asked, I would say, 'You're out of your mind.'"

Sen. Claire McCaskill, D-Mo.
"If I were asked, I would ask some mental health professionals to visit Barack Obama. I just think Sen. Obama is way too smart to pick me. I'm not a good pick, and he's smarter than that. That's why he's going to make such a good president."

Sen. Roger Wicker, R-Miss.
"The chances of that are so remote that I'm more likely to be hit by an asteroid."


By Alex Koppelman

Alex Koppelman is a staff writer for Salon.

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