Monday link dump: The egg and you

• If Democrats tell people what Republicans want to do to Social Security, America will run out of precious bipartisanship.
• Michael Wolff may be crazy and tiresome, but the man knows about the Rupert Murdoch empire, so his perspective on News Corp going all-in on the mosque controversy is interesting.
• Vote Gary Bernsten for U.S. Senate, and he will shoot Guantanamo inmates in the head.
• The National Review has discovered that Ayn Rand is the worst.
• Did you know, in light of the recent egg contamination story, that the House passed landmark food safety legislation a year ago, but it's been languishing in the Senate? Even if you did not know that, you probably could've guessed it. Also the House passed a bill that makes every day Christmas, but the Senators from Maine won't vote for it until the bill mandates that you don't get an XBox, because you were naughty.
• Do Americans even want to govern themselves? No, because Americans think Americans are stupid, and fat.
• In order for him to be president (hah), Minnesota's official state haircut Tim Pawlenty has to choose between winning New Hampshire (tax cuts) and Iowa (hate gays). He is choosing Iowa, because he is from Minnesota and it's basically right there.
• Dick Armey commands Republicans to support Paul Ryan's "Road Map" to old people receiving vouchers with which they can purchase three hours of dialysis, instead of the Medicare.
• There is actually a debate going on, in the right-wing blogosphere, over whether moderate Muslims actually exist. (Meanwhile, in Fake America, we are bonding over cigarettes and tourist-mocking.)
• A Muslim Republican in Minnesota speaks out against GOP anti-mosque talk.

By Alex Pareene

Alex Pareene writes about politics for Salon and is the author of "The Rude Guide to Mitt." Email him at apareene@salon.com and follow him on Twitter @pareene

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