Stephen Colbert defends "our friend Hosni" Mubarak

"We pay him $1.3 billion a year but...that money buys us security. Remember, we haven't had a single mummy attack"

Published February 1, 2011 6:20PM (EST)

Stephen Colbert traces the long-standing U.S. relationship with Egypt in last night's "Colbert Report." With photographic evidence of meet-and-greets with Presidents Obama, Bush, Clinton, Bush, Reagan, Carter, Lincoln,and King George III, Mubarek has to be our friend. We pay him $1.3 billion annually to like us!

Besides, if we don't continue to support his extremely oppressive and violence-ridden regime, gas prices could surge. By 10 cents a gallon.

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Afterall, Mubarek does have some experience.  And ElBaradei was the former chief of U.N. atomic energy, which is, as Colbert astutely points out, just a degree removed from the "one-man nuclear holocaust" in-waiting.

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By Amy Steinberg

Amy Steinberg is an editorial fellow at Salon.

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Egyptian Protests Stephen Colbert The Colbert Report