I'm a white, mostly straight male attracted to women who like to watch fighting -- not fighting themselves, but watching a fight between two men. This could be a bar fight, or UFC, or boxing, or a fight in hockey. Porn for me is boxing videos, trying to spot out ladies in the audience watching and enjoying the fight. It is very gender-specific: It must be a fight between two men -- the more brutal, the better.
I have no idea why I feel this way. When I see their hands come together in applause, a smile on their faces and one or two bloodied, fallen men, I feel like I am speaking to God. I am filled with wild emotions of shame. My body shakes, and I feel a very deep burning in my stomach. This burning can be debilitating, almost like it consumes me, but it feels so good. Sometimes I can't control myself. I don't understand any of this. The burning feelings, the fetish itself, it's all a mystery to me.
I've known about this since I was 8 years old. I know I'm not alone with this, I know there are other people with the same feelings, but never anyone I've encountered personally. Thanks and m...
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