Amazon's delivery drones aren't fast enough for Stephen Colbert

Amazon has come up with a solution to a delivery service problem that has been bothering "The Colbert Report" host Stephen Colbert all week -- possibly all year. "If I have to wait till tomorrow for my items to arrive, there goes tonight's plans to watch Monday Night Football while doing backflips on my trampoline," Colbert complains, remarking on Amazon's snail-paced one-day delivery service.

Thankfully, Amazon's CEO and "billionaire 'Busytown' worm" Jeff Bezos has offered up a solution to this non-problem problem: drones that can deliver packages 30 minutes after an order is placed.

But Colbert remains unimpressed. "Flying products to our doorsteps inside of half an hour is a bold plan right out of science fiction. That leaves me with only one question: why does it take so long?"

Echoing the mantra of his fellow red-blooded Americans, Colbert exclaims, "I want my stuff now, and I know how to get it!"

"Put on your future hat, Jeff Bezos!" he continues. "Because I've cooked up an idea that will bring buying as we know it to a new level."

"Here's the idea: Amazon locations that customers can walk into ... and buy things."