Sen. Rand Paul, Republican from Kentucky, is continuing an annual Festivus tradition -- an airing (or in his case tweeting) of grievances.
What is Festivus, you ask? Heathen! It is a holiday created in a 1997 episode of "Seinfeld" known as "The Strike." Rituals include putting an unadorned aluminum poll in the middle of a room, performing feats of strength, and an "Airing of Grievances" that starts with Frank Costanza's immortal line:
"I got a lot of problems with you and now you're gonna hear about them!"
It's December 23rd, and while it would be interesting to see Hillary Clinton air her many, many legitimate grievances (I'm sure James Comey, Vladimir Putin, and of course Donald Trump would all be targets), it was refreshing that Paul was willing to let both sides have it.
Good morning Seinfeld fans and Happy Festivus everywhere! Today I'll have my annual #AiringofGrievances. Join me here throughout the day...
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2016
Stay tuned to celebrate #festivus with me. I got a lot of problems with you and now you're gonna hear about them #HappyFestivus — Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2016
Hello again, I hope everyone is having a Happy Festivus! It's once again time for my annual #AiringofGrievances... pic.twitter.com/pZfRtAUtZN
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2016
He started out by attacking progressive complaints about fake news stories swinging the 2016 presidential election, although he also took a nonpartisan (but somewhat dated) swipe at a certain NBC anchor who embellished his recollections of what happened when he reported on the Iraq War.
On the media & #fakenews: Festivus is real, media, so don't try 2 fact check it. And @TheOnion is more accurate than a Brian Williams report — Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2016
He also took some refreshingly bold jabs at the rising leadership in his own party. President-elect Donald Trump's decision to staff his administration with plutocrats and the growing power of conspiracy theorists like Alex Jones were targeted in his next tweet, although the latter may have also been a self-deprecating jab at Paul's own appearance on Jones' racist and anti-Semitic show.
New administration is lookin good. Haven't seen this many billionaires in 1 place since I staked out Bilderbergs w/ Alex Jones. Good times.
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2016
Not all of Paul's jokes landed, such as this line about Silicon Valley billionaire and PayPal founder Peter Thiel, who is a close adviser to President-elect Trump.
.@peterthiel is advising the President Elect. That's great. But his plan 2 make the Statue of Liberty into a digital stop sign is a bit much — Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2016
That said, Paul quickly rebounded with a refreshingly honest refusal to make amends with former United Nations ambassador John Bolton, whom the libertarian-ish Paul vowed to block from being secretary of state if nominated by Trump (The Donald went with ExxonMobil CEO Rex Tillerson instead).
I know I've said a lot about @AmbJohnBolton so you're probably expecting me 2 say something nice for the holidays. Nope. #AiringofGrievances
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2016
This was quickly followed by two additional insults directed at the president-elect. The first was for nominating Gov. Rick Perry as secretary of energy despite the former Texas governor's embarrassing inability to remember that department's name in a 2011 debate and the second was for seeming to view his upcoming time in the White House as an opportunity to make a quick buck. If anything, it's surprising that Trump has so far allowed these insults from one of his former rivals for the presidency go unchallenged.
My favorite Cabinet pick is what's his name, umm it's that guy who wanted to eliminate the Dept. of @ENERGY. Hang on I'll think of it... — Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2016
New administration has some great people. But I wanna know who has to tell @realdonaldtrump he can't build a golf course on the South Lawn?
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2016
At the time of this writing, Sen. Paul hasn't finished his Festivus Airing of Grievances, but he promises more to come.
I've only just begun. I'll be back to talk waste, more gov grievances and nonbinding resolutions against my Senate colleagues #HappyFestivus — Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2016
Hopefully Trump can learn from Paul's example: It's okay to use Twitter to air one's grievances on Festivus. You just shouldn't make an everyday habit of it.
UPDATE, 2:45 p.m.:
Sen. Paul returned to his Festivus tweeting on Friday afternoon after a brief pause.
What do sea monsters, a superhero cartoon in Pakistan & gambling habits of Ugandans have in common? It's time for more #AiringofGrievances! — Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2016
Paul started with a string of tweets that offered the right-wing some of its favorite political red meat -- denouncing allegedly wasteful government spending.
The national Park Service announced a grant 2 study “Knowledge, Experience and Beliefs of the Supernatural Environment.” #AiringofGrievances pic.twitter.com/8XVRwhdKe3 — Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2016
I bet you didn't know the federal government is using $30,000 of your taxes to study Ugandan gambling practices. #AiringofGrievances pic.twitter.com/OMbLtDxKTE — Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2016
The Department of State, is advertising a $1.25 million grant opportunity to produce a superhero cartoon in Pakistan. #AiringofGrievances pic.twitter.com/Pyheyqa1mo
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2016
Those are just a few examples. Our hard-earned money is wasted everyday while our citizens, vets & infrastructure suffer #AiringofGrievances
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2016
We’ve got a lot of problems w/ how our tax dollars are spent & you've only heard about some. But I'm not done yet...https://t.co/U22SbuFrkdpic.twitter.com/KZKJYiI2Xk — Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2016
Sen. Paul also took a swipe at the media which has been reporting his Festivus tweets. His complaint was that they were writing "serious stories," which I would certainly say doesn't apply to the tone I've taken here. Nevertheless, I must ask Sen. Paul: Moi?!?!
For those of you "media" writing serious stories about my Festivus jokes, I don't even know what to say, just stop...#AiringofGrievancespic.twitter.com/Fvw6nKbGp8 — Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2016
Sen. Paul then went on a bit of a sport bender, and I must confess I think his sense of humor flagged considerably here. Perhaps it's because I don't know Mean Gene from Gene Belcher, or maybe it's because I don't understand why he thinks Bernie Sanders supporters would be especially likely to believe pro wrestling is real (no offense taken, I just don't get the punchline). That said, his poke at New York Jets fans was witty enough to appeal even to those of us who don't follow sports, real or fake.
Speaking of fake drama, this administration is the first to include 2 @WWE hall of famers. My grievance is, why isn't Mean Gene press sec? — Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2016
I'm very sorry to have been the one to tell @jackhunter74 pro wrestling is not real in that last tweet. — Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2016
Also, for those who think @WWE is real, I'm very sorry Bernie Sanders lost.
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2016
Of course here in our own office my adviser @dougstafford thinks the @nyjets are real too. I can't convince him or Woody otherwise...
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2016
Sticking with sports for a minute, I have an idea for @HBO: hard knocks, congressional baseball version. — Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2016
They follow as a bunch of old guys who didn't play ball in college attempt to not break themselves each year for charity #AiringofGrievances — Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2016
Sen. Paul then took another swipe at the incoming Republican president, giving Trump yet another reason to dislike the junior Senator from Kentucky.
Great, now I'm proposing reality shows too. The new environment in DC is catching...#AiringofGrievancespic.twitter.com/m8QfTN8Zf9 — Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2016
For a moment it seemed like Sen. Paul was wrapping things up.
I'm grateful you've followed along with me today as in last years. I try to have fun sometimes. This town needs it. — Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2016
I'll be celebrating Christmas with my family this weekend. We wish you a merry Christmas if you are too. — Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2016
As it turns out, though, Sen. Paul just couldn't help but share anecdotes about some of his Senate colleagues that I very much hope are true.
If you only celebrate Festivus, enjoy today and I hope you win the feats of strength later. I've been practicing... — Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2016
I decided I'd take on someone who thought he was a tough guy. Bring it, @SenatorReid #featsofstrength pic.twitter.com/RzwWeLnXPx — Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2016
I was gonna pick Mitch, but every time I tried to bring it up the Capitol Police kept getting twitchy. Sorry guys. — Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2016
A few years ago I complained that my colleague @CoryBooker didn't retweet me enough. Apparently he can't take a hint. #AiringofGrievances — Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2016
On a positive note, since that exchange @CoryBooker & I have worked on many criminal justice bills, proving Festivus brings us all together. — Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2016
My other colleagues @SenMikeLee & @SenTedCruz are rumored to be on the Supreme court short list. @survivorcbs is gonna be so nerdy this year — Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2016
Then he made this observation which, though funny, I must contend is in error. Sen. Paul, the way our president-elect has conducted his cabinet selection HAS, for all intents and purposes, been a reality show!
But I'm upset VP & cabinet wasn't picked w/ a reality show. I would have watched. You would have too, don't deny it. #AiringofGrievances — Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2016
Then Sen. Paul decided to get some bipartisan swipes at both left-wing and right-wing media outlets. I'll admit it, Paul -- given Fox News' outlandishly paranoid belief that there is a War on Christmas, I wouldn't have been surprised if your tweet had been true!
I'm gonna have to stop tweeting about Festivus soon, @FoxNews just asked me to come on & talk about my own personal #WaronChristmas. Rude.
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2016
For the folks at @MSNBC, that was a joke.
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2016
Finally, Sen. Paul wrapped things up for real.
What's NOT a joke is wasteful spending & the fact that I wish you all a Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays. Hope you enjoyed Festivus w/ me.
— Senator Rand Paul (@RandPaul) December 23, 2016
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