Stephen Colbert cannot believe that Rex Tillerson's real name sounds more appropriate for a cowboy than his rugged alias, Wayne Tracker, which he used as CEO of Exxon Mobil to allegedly discuss climate change. The host of CBS's "Late Show with Stephen Colbert" dedicated part of his monologue Tuesday night to President Donald Trump's mysterious secretary of state.
"Wayne Tracker, which actually sounds less like a made-up cowboy than Rex Tillerson. I don't think he should be allowed two cool-sounding, manly names," Colbert said. "If you are born Rex Tillerson, your alias should be something not manly — like Mel Dampler or Humbert Knucklebutt."
Tillerson allegedly used the Wayne Tracker alias when he discussed climate change and other "important matters" involving his old oil company, according to New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman.
Colbert found it strange that Tillerson went through such great lengths to hide his communications.
"In the Trump administration, you can be a sexist or white supremacist, but you want to keep your science talk on the D.L.," Colbert surmised.
Exxon Mobile said that there were innocuous reasons that explained why Tillerson used the Wayne Tracker email and it had nothing to do with climate change discussions.
"Of course not," Colbert said in response to Exxon's statement. "Wayne Tracker is a great name for your sexy novel about email and cowboys."
The late-night comedian then brought out a book, titled "The Adventures of Wayne Tracker," by Wayne Tracker's pseudonym, Flex Drillerson.
While wearing a cowboy hat, Colbert read a passage form the story.
"Is the creek flooded?" Jessie-Anne asked, as she wrapped herself around Wayne Tracker's "strong, rippling torso.'"
"No, it's rising sea levels due to an increase in CO2 in the atmosphere, melting the ice caps," Tracker explained, adding, "Please don't tell anybody I said that."
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