One step forward, two steps back — that’s often the rhythm for any social movement. However, when news surfaced that Monica Lewinsky was uninvited to a Town & Country event because Bill Clinton happened to be on the list too, I thought, really? In this #MeToo era, when some of the most important conversations in feminism are happening, a woman’s presence was still thought of as less important than a man’s, according to those in charge of the guest list.
Here’s what apparently happened: Town & Country, a lifestyle magazine owned by Hearst, was curating the list of attendees for its annual Philanthropy Summit. Both Lewinsky and Bill Clinton received invitations. Lewinsky accepted her invitation, only to have it rescinded after Clinton RSVP’d.
The timeline is unclear, but it’s possible that Lewinsky's invitation was rescinded as late as the day of the Summit — May 9 — which is when she sent out a cryptic tweet.
“Dear world: please don’t invite me to an event (esp one about social change) and ―then after i’ve accepted― uninvite me because bill clinton then decided to attend/was invited,” Lewinsky tweeted. “It’s 2018. Emily post would def not approve.”
“P.s. ...and definitely, please don't try to ameliorate the situation by insulting me with an offer of an article in your mag,” she added.
Angel Ureña, press secretary for Clinton, tweeted that Clinton was not involved in Lewinsky's invitation being revoked by the magazine.
“President Clinton was invited to address the Town & Country Philanthropy Summit,” Ureña said on Twitter. “He gladly accepted. Neither he nor his staff knew anything about the invitation or it being rescinded.”
On Thursday, the day after the event — and Lewinsky’s tweet — the magazine issued an apology on Twitter.
“We apologize to Ms. Lewinsky and regret the way the situation was handled,” the magazine stated.
The situation outraged many on Twitter, such as director and producer Judd Apatow, who said the magazine should be “ashamed of themselves."
This insult to Lewinsky might seem highly specific to her and her past relationship with a former president, but it's also yet more evidence that patriarchy and gender inequality are alive and well. Why should Lewinsky's invitation be rescinded when she is an influential and important guest in her own right, regardless of her past? Lewinsky isn’t just a former intern who had an affair with the president when she was 22 — that was more than two decades ago. Now, she is a writer, book author and bullying prevention activist, and a sought-after voice for social change.
There are multiple disconcerting components at work here. First, the blatant disrespect on the part of the magazine is rooted in sexism. As Lewinsky said, this is 2018. If anyone’s invitation should have been revoked, it should have been Clinton’s — Lewinsky was a White House intern during their relationship, creating a massive workplace power imbalance between the two. Yet for some, the woman is and always will be at fault — both back in 1998 and today, in eyes of Town & Country.
But an even bigger question is why anyone's invitation needed to be revoked in the first place. A solution to any perceived awkwardness would have been simply to sit the two at different tables. There’s this strange narrative that persists in the public imagination that former lovers can’t be in the same room together, but in reality, people do it all the time. It’s called being a mature adult — something both Lewinsky and Clinton are very capable of being.
How much longer will America continue to automatically punish the woman in any scenario involving sex? In the name of gender equality, when it comes to affairs, both parties should share the responsibility and absorb an equal amount of social backlash. Alternatively, forgiveness and acceptance are always options the public — and philanthropic event committees — can acquaint themselves with. There are bigger fish to fry this decade.
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