As they prepared to take control of the lower chamber of Congress, there was extensive hype about how Republicans planned to abuse their new House majority with fake "investigations" meant mainly to generate right-wing propaganda. Certainly, in the past, the imprimatur of congressional hearings elevated Republican lies and conspiracy theories into the mainstream, turning non-stories — like "Benghazi" — into headline-grabbers that look very much like "scandals," especially to those not paying super close attention.
So it was with great pomp and circumstance that Rep. James Comer, R-Tenn., gaveled in the first of what are expected to be endless kangaroo hearings that Republicans hope will imbue gravitas into Fox News-shaped fantasies. The subject of Wednesday's House Oversight Committee hearing? The horrific assault on the GOP's god-given right to look at pictures of Hunter Biden's penis on Twitter. Yep, taxpayer resources were going into an "investigation" into this right-wing narrative accusing Twitter of malfeasance because Joe Biden's campaign asked the social media platform not to publicize private photos stolen from the laptop of a private citizen.
Already, the justification for the outrage was on shaky ground, especially as there's no evidence that the government was involved in the slightest. Also, Twitter didn't actually do much to curb the revenge porn featuring a candidate's grown son. But soon things flew off the rails even more. One of the subpoenaed Twitter executives testified that Donald Trump tried to pressure the company into censoring a tweet by model Chrissy Teigen, in which she called him a "pussy-ass bitch." Unlike Biden, Trump was actually president at the time and was trying to use government power to suppress speech critical of a politician, making the attempt exponentially more of a First Amendment concern than anything regarding Hunter Biden's naked pictures.
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The story swiftly eclipsed the faux scandal that Republicans were trying to generate in the press coverage. For one thing, it involves a celebrity like Teigen. But, just as importantly, it was a reminder that Trump is exactly as Teigen described him: a man with such a snowflake-delicate ego that he took time out of what is supposed to be a busy schedule running the country to whine because someone used her constitutional right of protest to call him a mean but very accurate name.
Republican narcissism is off-putting to most people, but it does resonate in the MAGA base, where self-pity over truly dumb stuff is the norm
But the hearing did more than remind the nation that Trump is, indeed, a pussy-ass bitch. It also served as a beautiful illustration of how his whininess has come to define the entire GOP.
There's often talk about how Trump remade the Republican Party in his own image. As Wednesday's hearing showed, one way he did this was by turning the party into a collection of crybabies who, just like Trump, are far more interested in bolstering their own egos than petty concerns like "serving constituents" or "understanding the law."
"Did either of you approve the shadow-banning of my account?" Rep. Lauren Boebert, R-Colo., yelled at the Twitter executives on Wednesday. They tried to deny the lie, as there is absolutely no evidence that Boebert, who has over two million followers on Twitter, is banned or "shadowbanned" or anything like it. But there was no getting a word edgewise in with her, as she insistently raved about how she just knew that her tweets were being secretly suppressed, presumably because they didn't get as many likes and retweets as she wants.
Boebert did laughingly try to frame her line of questioning as anger "for the millions of Americans who were silenced," who also do not exist. But there's no way to watch her performance as anything but egocentrism. As with Trump's tantrum over Teigen's truth-telling tweet, Boebert clearly sees her political power mainly as a tool to boost her ego and her profile.
Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, R-Ga., also spent her hearing time focused on the only subject that truly interests her: Herself. Holding up a placard with a screenshot of her account suspension message, Greene bellyached about being "canceled" and even went as far as suggesting one of Twitter's executives "sexualized" children. Like her hero, Trump, calling someone a pedophile has just become a standard way to slur someone whose real sin is failing to worship Greene as much as she worships herself. As a reminder, Greene was initially suspended for spreading lies about COVID-19, even though it's obvious such lies are leading people to forgo life-saving medical care. But she doesn't care who dies, so long as she gets more Twitter followers.
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On Thursday, the first hearing of the new committee called "Weaponization of the Federal Government" — which Republicans mean as an accusation, but is, in reality, a confession —was more of the same. Rep. Scott Perry, R-Pa., groused that it was unfair that he couldn't use his congressional powers to shut down a Justice Department investigation into his allegedly seditious activities. During the hearing, former Democrat and current fascist shill Tulsi Gabbard droned on about how those who "challenge" the "so-called truth" get "called things like Russian asset, white supremacist, bigot, racist, sexist, extremist, traitor."
Conservatives are equating minimal expectations of basic manners with experiencing a global holocaust.
In other words, she asserted not just a right to spread conspiracy theories, but a right to do so without being criticized for it. Needless to say, the only way to enforce this criticism-free bubble Republican leaders would like to live in would be to repeal the First Amendment. Far from being a free speech champion, Gabbard's lashing out at free speech, just like Trump lashed out at Teigen. Her griping was so tedious that even Republicans on the committee struggled to feign concern:
"The question isn't why the hearing backfired; the question is why Republicans didn't see this coming," Steve Benen of MSNBC asked. The answer: They really think everyone else cares as much about their baseless grudges as they do. That's what narcissism does to the human brain.
Republican narcissism is off-putting to most people, but it does resonate in the MAGA base, where self-pity over truly dumb stuff is the norm. While most journalists this week were focused on issues like the war in Ukraine, the continued economic recovery, or the State of the Union address, much of right-wing media turned their attention to what really matters to them and their readers: How how annoyed they are that you can't just throw around racial slurs without people thinking you're gross.
As Jordan Pearson at Vice reports, "the internet's brightest conservative minds" have spent the past few weeks "constructing elaborate scenarios to try and trick OpenAI's ChatGPT tool" into saying the n-word, which it is programmed not to do. In their childish desperation to have a mindless internet toy validate their racism, conservatives resorted to, sigh, a hypothetical scenario where the only way to avoid nuclear annihilation is for a computer program to type out the notorious word. When liberals pointed out that the decision between global death and saying a racial slur is a false choice, Daily Wire leader Ben Shapiro said the left is "morally illiterate."
This is all very racist, of course, but it is also deeply self-absorbed.
Conservatives are equating minimal expectations of basic manners with experiencing a global holocaust. Their egos are so fragile it's a wonder they can function at all. How do such people handle living in the world with others? Do they melt down when asked to wait in line at the coffee shop? Lose their minds if someone else on the bus has the seat they wanted? Go into hysterics if someone shushes them in a theater? (The answers are probably "yes," "sharing is why they don't take the bus," and "100%.")
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Trump won in 2016 because, as hard as this may be to remember, he did occasionally manage to suppress his massive ego in favor of talking about how he planned to be a fighter for others. Since then, of course, his already overwhelming vanity has completely colonized his mind. Trump's public communications, through his Truth Social site, are focused on two themes: How he is better than everyone else and the great injustice that is the rest of the world failing to acknowledge his supergenius. "I'm a victim" is Trump's favorite catchphrase, followed only by "unfair!"
Biden, meanwhile, has focused his messaging this month on his efforts to protect Social Security and Medicare. His public events are predictably focused on the needs and aspirations of Americans not named "Joe Biden." He talks about jobs and infrastructure and protecting democracy and health care access. Even as the media chatter rises about his age and whether it's wise to run again in 2024, he's refrained from complaining, much less screeching that it's "unfair" or that he's a "victim."
None of which is to say that Biden is some kind of exemplar of humility. He's a politician, and therefore comes equipped with an outsized ego. But he remembers a basic rule of politics that Republicans seem to have forgotten: Voters don't realy care about you. They care about the issues and how politicians' choices affect their lives, not about whether their leaders have more social media clout. The Fox News audience may have a bottomless appetite for this non-stop whining. Everyone else, however, got sick of it with Trump — and won't like it any better coming from his minions.
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