From 9/11 to Benjamin Netanyahu: The world is learning that toxic masculinity can't keep us safe

In his Oval Office address following the Oct. 7 attacks, President Joe Biden, while not addressing Benjamin Netanyahu by name, nonetheless issued an unmistakeable word of caution to Israel's prime minister: "When America experienced the hell of 9/11, we felt enraged as well, and while we sought and got justice, we made mistakes. So I caution the government of Israel not to be blinded by rage."

No one who knows anything about Netanyahu has been surprised that he's ignored Biden's words of caution. He used the Hamas attack on Israeli citizens as a pretext to unleash a nightmarish amount of violence on Palestinian citizens while giving bloodthirsty speeches to justify these actions. It couldn't be clearer that Netanyahu, whose tenure has been increasingly weighed down by ugly corruption scandals and a threat of criminal sanction, is hoping for a repeat of what President George W. Bush enjoyed in the aftermath of 9/11: A surge in approval polls, boosted by a "rally 'round the flag" effect.

Bush certainly didn't hold back from his own hyperbolic rhetoric during that era — remember his infamous "axis of evil" speech? It worked for him, at least for a time, with his approval ratings soaring from 51% just before the attacks to above 85% after 9/11. He benefited in no small part from plain old sexist prejudice, the kind that causes people to conflate chest-thumping displays of toxic masculinity with competence and strength. But as the years dragged on, it became harder for Americans to convince themselves that tough words meant Bush knew what he was doing. On the contrary, he got the country embroiled in a pointless war in Iraq while failing to deal with the actual terrorist organization that destroyed the World Trade Center. It wasn't until President Barack Obama, whom Republicans repeatedly tried to smear as effeminate, that the U.S. finally killed the man responsible for 9/11, Osama bin Laden. 

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Biden's words may be gentle but he is no doubt aware that Netanyahu's toxic masculinity makes for a fragile ego. So far, his argument seems to have traction in the U.S. and Israel. Whatever the Israeli prime minister hoped to gain from the Hamas-led massacre, he is not getting the uncritical submission to his strongman play-acting that he seems to have expected. Polling shows up to 4 out of 5 Israelis blame Netanyahu for the security failures that led to Hamas terrorizing Israeli citizens. As Zack Beauchamp at Vox wrote Tuesday, "There is a general sense among Israeli analysts that Netanyahu is nearing the end of his political rope." Indeed, while Netanyahu likes to brag about how tough he supposedly is, he's proved himself quite the wimp. As Beauchamp notes, Netanyahu "faced so many hostile questions from reporters" Saturday, at his first press conference since the attack, that "he left early — only answering seven of the 12 questions he was slated to take."

The American press has not extended its general support of Israel to Netanyahu either. On Sunday, the New York Times published a devastating exposé of how Israeli security forces failed to stop an assault that left 1,400 Israelis dead. "The most powerful military force in the Middle East had not only completely underestimated the magnitude of the attack," the reporters wrote, "it had totally failed in its intelligence-gathering efforts, mostly due to hubris and the mistaken assumption that Hamas was a threat contained."

As feminists have long argued, that's one of the most maddening aspects of toxic masculinity: It dupes people into confusing big talk for real action. Authoritarian men like Netanyahu — or like Donald Trump — love to preen about how strong and powerful they supposedly are. It's all a lie, of course, and they often expose themselves as cowards who cringe away from real challenges. But what's alarming is that sexism tricks large swaths of the public into voting for them, supporting them or otherwise putting their trust in men who brag loudly but fail to show any real competence. 

In the U.S., the loss from that misplaced faith in toxic masculinity is almost too great to think about.

Bush beat Al Gore in the 2000 election by painting the former vice president as an effeminate nerd. Bush's failures to protect people are legion, from 9/11 to Hurricane Katrina to gun violence to the way he set the fight against climate change back decades. Misogyny, of course, wasn't just a major reason for Trump beating Hillary Clinton in 2016, but likely the deciding factor. Trump went on to mishandle the pandemic making the death toll much higher than it need be. To cap off a disastrous presidency, he instigated a violent attack on the U.S. Capitol in an attempted coup. 

Feminists have long detailed how it's wrong to equate masculinity, especially toxic masculinity, with safety. For instance, the myth of chivalry is constructed around the idea that men need power over women in order to protect us. But, as feminists point out, what we're being "protected" from is male violence that only exists because men have so much power over women. Rape usually happens at the hands of a man the victim knows. Domestic violence is a far greater source of danger to women than strangers. Toxic masculinity isn't shielding us from danger. It's the reason we're not safe. 

Netanyahu's political problems are due to his own failings as a leader over the years, of course, but I also suspect it's because much of the rest of the world is starting to figure out what feminists learned long ago: Machismo won't save us — and in fact, it often makes things worse. And it's not just the Israeli public that is taking a dim view of Netanyahu's capacity to handle this situation. A lot of centrist American pundits who have unfortunate histories of credulity towards saber-rattling are openly derisive towards him. Jennifer Rubin of the Washington Post, who had once been a big time Iraq War booster, compared Netanyahu to Trump, whom she loathes. Sounding like a once-hated peacenik, she writes, "They dehumanize and demonize any opposition and cannot display a modicum of empathy."

Joe Scarborough, the former Republican congressman-turned-MSNBC host who cheered on the Iraq War, has also been scathing when he talks about Netanyahu, arguing that the Israeli prime minister is "responsible" for what happened. Which, since some people are still trying to argue this, is absolutely true. It's not just the intelligence failures. It's that Netanyahu has repeatedly propped up Hamas because he cynically believed doing so would derail Palestinian efforts at freedom and equality. 

This shift in the worldview of centrist, even conservative, types is noteworthy. Many people who used to scoff at feminist criticisms of toxic masculinity now have shifted their skeptical eye towards the chest-beating politicians themselves. They see these men how feminists always did: Braying assholes who cannot be trusted.  Perhaps it's because Trump is a cowardly buffoon and a sexual predator, exposing toxic masculinity for what it is. Or maybe it's Trump plus watching Bush fail so miserably, while a skinny nerd like Obama ran a relatively competent administration, tan suit and all. Maybe they, too, feel soothed by Biden's more "feminine" style of leadership, which is heavy on empathy and diplomacy, while shunning the overheated tough guy rhetoric favored by Republicans. 

Whatever the reason, here's hoping the shift is permanent. We've lived too long in a world where male leaders can hide their own incompetence by talking like they're characters in a John Wayne movie. Mistaking toxic masculinity for skillful leadership has led to one disaster after another, from pointless wars to preventable terrorist attacks to the spiraling climate change crisis. It's long past time humanity leveled up and started valuing intelligence, kindness, and calm over the masculinity theatrics of overcompensating jerks. It won't do much for the Israelis or Palestinians right now, as both are still subject to Netanyahu's gross mishandling of this situation, which will lead to a lot of unnecessary death and suffering. Still, the sooner people figure out that toxic masculinity is poison, the sooner we can get humanity on a road that may, one day, lead us to something that's actually safer.