Ariana Madix on the "weird" new season of "Vanderpump Rules" and the commodification of heartbreak

After a whirlwind nine months, Ariana Madix is ready for a vacation — but she’s going to settle for starring in a Broadway show instead. The “Vanderpump Rules” star has not slowed down since the news that her partner of nearly 10 years had cheated on her with a fellow cast member and former friend, a revelation that broke the internet and earned the Bravo reality show an Emmy nomination. Since “Scandoval” broke in March, Madix has starred in commercials, graced the cover of magazines, nearly won “Dancing With the Stars,” and soon she’ll live out a childhood dream by playing Roxie Hart in “Chicago.” 

All of these positives come at the unique cost of a devastating heartbreak and then getting through it in front of a camera crew, something that Madix hasn't lost sight of, even if her life today resembles Kacey Musgraves' "Golden Hour" more than Alanis Morissette's "You Oughta Know." “It felt like there was this commodification of my actual real life, and it was like, OK, it doesn't even belong to me anymore,” Madix said on “Salon Talks.” 

Telling her story on her own terms is just one way that Madix says she is taking back ownership over her experience. She joined “Salon Talks” to discuss the latest of her numerous projects that are part of her process of turning lemons into lemonade a la one of her favorite singers, Beyoncé: “Single AF Cocktails: Drinks for Bad B****es.” Madix opened up about what it means to be putting out a cocktail book that’s all her own, the new details she decided to share about her ex’s affair and the “scream-cry-dance parties” she had with friends while processing the breakup. 

With another season of “Vanderpump Rules” set to air in late January, Madix knows that this moment in her life will be back up for discussion and dissection, but at this point, she's used to it. “That's just the nature of living life publicly,” she told me. You can watch my full "Salon Talks" interview with Madix here or read a transcript of our conversation below.

The following interview has been lightly edited for length and clarity.

Can you tell me about how you created these drinks in order to tell a story?

Following in the footsteps of women that I really admire, like Taylor Swift, Beyoncé, Kelly Clarkson, women who are able to take their personal experiences and then channel them creatively into, well, their medium is music, and for me, my medium is cocktails. I'm telling the story of my past relationship from beginning to very messy end, but I'm also using cocktails in fun photography to illustrate that story. 

The photographs, Kelly Paleo, who actually did the photos for my first cocktail book with my former co-author, she also did the photos for this book. It was a really big deal for me to have her involved because she is the most incredible photographer. As you've seen, the photos are just amazing. She's awesome.

Is there one drink that you're really excited for fans to either try or perhaps read the backstory of?

We Ride at Dawn is one of my absolute favorites. Number one, it's a mezcal cocktail and mezcal is my favorite spirit, but it's also, the story attached to it is about my support system and just how amazing my friends and family are. That's something that I'm really proud of is being able to talk about them.

This book takes us on a journey through your relationship from the good times to the bad times to the good times, and when I was reading it, I was really struck by the inclusion of the good times. I thought that was so brave and honest, and after what happened, I don't know if I would do it, so that was very big of you.

It was tough.

What was it like revisiting those moments and why did you want to include them?

I just felt like it was really important to, if I was going to tell the story, to be able to also go there with it. I have to say that was the hardest part of writing this, and it was because obviously I wrote this months ago and I was in a much different place, a much more intense raw place at that time, so it was tough to go there. 

Of course, there are the bad times, too. Fans and readers are going to get some new details about the affair. What is it like to still be able to share those moments with an audience and be heard? 

I feel like in order for me to really give every detail, I would need a “War and Peace” thickness of a book, but I felt like there were just certain things that I had learned that I felt like it was important for me to include just because this is my story and I feel like whether people maybe don't want to hear it or not, I'm entitled to share my experience and for people to be receptive to it, I am really grateful and I'm really lucky that people give a s**t. 

But also I think that there's so many things about this that other people can relate to because they've been through something similar. As sad as that is of how many people have been through something similar, I think that's part of why we're all able to kind of bond together and get through these things together. In me sharing those things, I was hoping that other people would be able to connect and maybe somehow if I took away something from it, that they would be able to as well.

Another thing I love about this book, which you actually already started to bring up, is that this is your breakup album because this is your medium. You talk about some of your favorite breakup albums, and some of mine, shout out to Kacey Musgraves.

Yes, yes. I love her.

Can you talk more about the role that music played in your healing?

Music is something that, I mean, I think most people just, there's something about connecting with music that's unlike anything else, and I'm someone who just, I don't know how to explain how pivotal music is for me, just in all aspects of life. No matter where I'm at, emotionally, music is where I go. 

Kacey, another person who I really, really admire, and her music was something that, I mean, if you go through my Spotify Wrapped, it's like top artist Kacey Musgraves this year. It's like that was just where I went, and I remember early on, back in March, me and my best friends just turning up the “Lemonade” album to full blast on the television and just having scream-cry-dance parties because it's something that I don't know, a new way of connecting to these songs that I always loved before.

Is there a song right now that describes the current phase that you're in?

I feel like “Golden Hour” by Kacey Musgraves is kind of how things are feeling right now.

That's a good place to be.

That or the new Beyoncé, “My House.”

Continuing with this music track, you just wrapped up with “Dancing With the Stars” and you crushed it. What did you learn about yourself through this process?

I learned that I was capable of much more than I thought. I would have full-blown anxiety attacks every Tuesday before the show, or even sometimes right before dancing, and then we would magically get through the dance, and everything would be fine. It was kind of this ongoing lesson and learning to trust myself and trust that I could do it and also trust that my partner’s got my back. I think part of what made that possible is just how incredibly supportive the entire cast and crew of that show is. Every contestant, every pro, all the hair and makeup and costume people, everyone just constantly rooting for each other.

That was what was so cool is, I think for me, the ultimate goal was getting to the finale. I didn't want to have FOMO of missing out on anything. We all made it to all the semi-finalists. We all made it to be finalist. And all week me and Alyson [Hannigan] would be like, “Hey, finalist,” “Hey, finalist.” And then getting to share in that moment of just everybody being up there and the confetti and the pyro going, when Xochitl [Gomez] and Val [Chmerkovskiy] won, it really felt like, I don't know, it felt like it's their win, but it felt like a win for all of us just because it was just such a cool family to be a part of.

Now you're taking it one step further; you're about to be on Broadway.

Crazy.

I know that was a lifelong goal. You just announced, but what can you tell us about it? Have you started rehearsing?

I start rehearsing I think in January, but I will be starting with photo shoot fitting, things like that soon. I'm so excited. I'm so nervous. But again, I'm trying to tell myself in the same way that “Dancing with the Stars” happened, that we'll rehearse and it will be good, that it'll be all OK and that it'll all work out. I'm just so excited and I just want to make sure that I do the best job because it really is a lifelong dream.

As is evidenced by this conversation, you have been nonstop since March. It just keeps getting bigger and better. When Scandoval broke in March, that's when this all started. You agreed to pick back up filming, which was very brave. You and your castmates were doing so much press and media and podcasts. You started in commercials that are still stuck in my head, but it's just been go, go, go. What was the impact of this media frenzy on your healing?

I think in some ways it was a really good distraction. I feel like my initial instinct is to isolate or retract and just kind of go away when I'm feeling things and then reemerge when I've been able to process. Because I was almost pushed to process while being so busy, it almost felt like it was a really good distraction and also a really good way of having to process in real time as opposed to being like, “I'll see you guys in six months” kind of thing. 

I also think that in some ways it was really nice to feel like because it was so public that in some ways I wasn't going through it alone. It definitely got to a point where it felt a little weird because it felt like there was this commodification of my actual real life, and it was like, OK, it doesn't even belong to me anymore. It belongs to other people somehow, which is weird, but I think that that's just the nature of living life publicly.

Have you been able to do anything that makes you feel like you're taking it back for yourself?

I think writing this book for sure, and I think just being honest with myself, and if someone says something like, “Get over it. It's been nine months” or something like that, thinking to myself that this doesn't belong to that person, that commenter, that whatever. This is mine. I'll make the decisions on how I'm feeling. Just kind of telling myself that is how I've been dealing with that.

It's already almost time for another season of “Vanderpump Rules.” We got a tiny snippet of it at BravoCon. I'm sure you can't say much, but what was it like filming this season?

It was interesting. Obviously it was very different from seasons past for obvious reasons, and who knows what it's going to be like when it's all put together. I know how it felt. I know it felt weird. It was really difficult at times. I think that our show always has really thrived when it is at its real-est, and I think that this is going to be a very real season in a lot of ways. That'll be really interesting for viewers.

There's one woman, of course, at the center of all of this. At the end of the day, Mrs. Lisa Vanderpump herself, we just saw her with tears in her eyes supporting you at “Dancing at the Stars.”

Oh my gosh.

What's your relationship like with her today and more generally, how do you navigate all of these relationships that are so interconnected, not only with your ex, but your livelihood and your career? 

Lisa is incredible, and seeing her was awesome. I got to see her before the show too, in the backstage area. Having her be there to support was awesome. It was amazing too because she's been in Vegas opening a restaurant, she's been in France, she's been all over the place, but she made it a point to come to the finale, so it was really awesome. 

For the most part, as far as the navigation of those types of relationships, there hasn't been a lot of that because there aren't a lot, are not many mutual connections at this point, so that part has been a little bit less stressful than most of other things.

The world is your oyster right now. You're about to be on Broadway, you got to write a cocktail book that is finally just your own, and it's even better. How have you been approaching all of these opportunities that have been coming your way, and are you going to slow down anytime soon?

I think that when everything with Broadway starts, that will be my sole focus and I'm going to do my best to not have any other things going on just so that I can really be primarily focused on that because it is so important to me to be doing the best job. 

I would love a vacation. That would be cool. At least the holidays are coming up. No one works on the holidays, so I have that. It's just been awesome. I think that as far as things that come my way, I think it's just a matter of can I do a good job of this? Is this something I can handle? And also, is this something that I connect with that feels right for me that I actually like?

You just got the big one. You're going to be on Broadway, but is there anything else you want to manifest right now?

Oh, a nap.

Where are you going to go on vacation? Where do you want to go?

I'm thinking maybe Mexico, or just my bed.