Bath and body perks: Here's why you should bathe with your friends this winter

“So, where do young people here go to hang out?” someone had asked from the back of the van. We hadn’t even seen a sheep, let alone another car, for miles. “The baths,” our guide had shrugged. This was Iceland, after all, where bathing is a local pastime and a tourist pursuit. But the power of a good soak in a communal setting has a near universal appeal. And as the days grow colder and the nights get longer, it’s a good time to ask yourself, when was the last time you got into some hot water with your friends?

In Iceland in November, even as earthquakes and volcano warnings kept our group from seeing the Blue Lagoon, my friends and I still managed to enjoy the country’s geothermal bounty. At the Hvammsvik Hot Springs, we alternated between plunging in to the icy waters of the fjord (I shrieked) and luxuriating in a series of increasingly warm baths. At another lagoon, we bobbed in among other groups of friends, many of whom were happily drinking beers and taking selfies. In both places, I felt a different kind of closeness with our group, a buoyancy that was as emotional as it was physical. 

There's something about hanging out in water, preferably while getting in a good sweat, that makes the body and soul go "Ahhhhhhh." And when you do it with friends, the benefits are even greater. We've have been doing it for thousands of years — just ask the Romans. And in plenty of cultures around the world, from Finland to Japan to Turkey, it remains a popular social experience. 

Why does bathing make us feel so happy? Jeanne Cross, a licensed therapist and owner of EMDR Center of Denver, says that some of the magic is in the water itself.

"Immersing in hot springs and public baths not only provides physical relaxation but also yields mental health benefits, influenced in part by physiological responses," she says. "The warm, mineral-rich waters induce a sense of calm by promoting the release of neurotransmitters like dopamine. This natural chemical contributes to feelings of pleasure and reward, playing a crucial role in mood regulation."

That's why those first few steps into a warm pool can make you feel an almost immediate unwinding. Additionally, Cross notes, "The combination of buoyancy and heat not only soothes muscles but also enhances blood circulation, facilitating the delivery of oxygen to the brain." 

A 2018 paper from Japan in the journal Evidence-Based Complementary and Alternative Medicine on the "Physical and Mental Effects of Bathing" seems to back that up, with subjects who bathed in warm water reporting "significantly better general health, mental health, role emotional, and social functioning scores." And while the benefits of throwing some cold into the mix are widely reputed but not as well proven, there is some evidence that, as UCLA Health reports, "cold water can stimulate the blood cells that fight off infection," keeping you healthier this winter.

Another key component of bathing is the company you keep. Adam Zagha, a mental health and addiction treatment specialist and the owner of Numa Recovery Centers in Los Angeles, recalls his own experience visiting a traditional Russian bathhouse (banya). "In addition to the health benefits of the heat and steam," he says, "the banya provided a unique opportunity for socializing. It was a space where people could come together, engage in meaningful conversations and strengthen friendships. The shared experience of sweating it out in the heat fosters camaraderie and relaxation, enhancing overall well-being."

There are other, subtler benefits as well. A few weeks after my adventure in Iceland, I had an equally blissful but altogether different experience at a Japanese springs in San Francisco. There, on one of the female communal bath days, I spent an afternoon slipping between the hot pool, cold pool, steam room and sauna in a low-lit, intentionally quiet environment. Some of the women wore bathing suits; most did not. There were no phones to check, no chatter, just a tranquil space for people of different shapes, sizes and ages to be still for a little while. It felt social in a different way, an opportunity for shared mindfulness. It was also a welcome reality check. 

"As a pleasure positive therapist, I talk to my patients about the relationships they have with their bodies often," says Sarah Chotkowski, a licensed clinical social worker in private practice. "What I hear is a steady litany of complaints about the reality of their own body, framed in the context of an imaginary ideal. When we spend time with real people, partially or wholly undressed, we see bodies with a variety of shapes and sizes, which can help us practice body neutrality."

It's not necessary to "like" or even "love" our appearance, Chotkowski says, but "we can find peace if we accept our bodies exactly as they are. Everyone deserves to enjoy activities like hot springs, bathhouses and saunas with abandon, regardless of what their body looks like."

She adds, "I think spending more time nude with our friends helps to de-center the body as exclusively erotic, a landscape which can be challenging for so many of us."

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Ultimately, what makes the bathing experience so therapeutic is how it all comes together. Sarah Jeffries, a mental health first aid trainer and the founder of Basic Life Support Training in the U.K., notes, "From a mental health perspective, these activities resonate as therapeutic balms: They fuse relaxation with social interaction."

She adds, "Sharing a judgment-free space engenders acceptance and solidarity among individuals; indeed, warm water and steam often serve as catalysts for open dialogue and storytelling."

In the warmer months, it's easy to find an excuse to jump in a lake or a pool or the ocean with friends. But there's a different kind of bonding that's possible when warm water meets cold weather. "In societies that value collectivism, such as in Iceland and Japan, these baths are not mere places for relaxation but also for building social connections," says Jabe Brown of Melbourne Functional Medicine. "During the darker, colder months, communal baths offer a warm refuge that counters social isolation, which is particularly beneficial for mental health."

Of course, bathing culture today, like everything else, is colored by COVID. As cases rise yet again throughout the colder months, it's crucial to use common sense by following the facility's policies and not going out if we don't feel well.

"Embracing these practices safely in contemporary times involves adhering to hygiene standards and respecting personal space to prevent the spread of diseases," Brown advises, as a way to "ensure that these traditions continue to be a source of health and happiness, rather than a health hazard." Similarly, it's important to listen to your body — stay hydrated and avoid overheating. 

It's taken me two trips to two places thousands of miles apart to appreciate how healing and grounding it is to just sit still and be present in my own body, among other people. That's why I'm going to a local bath house this weekend for a reset that only warm water seems to provide. As Zagha puts it, "Especially during the winter months, baths can be a valuable tool in combating the dark and cold weather. So, why not embrace the tradition of sweating it out among friends and reap the benefits this season?"