Jon Stewart's solution to the Israel and Palestine war: "Let’s just ask God. It’s his house!"

Jon Stewart is no stranger to stirring the pot — even he can agree with that.

During Stewart's third episode back at "The Daily Show," he began by addressing the discourse surrounding his first two episodes since he returned to the comedy news show, in which he called out concerns about President Joe Biden's age and aptness. Stewart's critics have accused him of "bothsideism."

“A lot of discourse around it. A lot of carping back and forth. A lot of anger. A lot of commentary,” Stewart said. “Tonight, I’m done with it. Tonight is perhaps an amuse-bouche. A trifle. Something light! Tonight, we discuss Israel, Palestine!"

Stewart's return has largely dealt with the more sensitive parts of American society and politics, so it's only natural that he would deconstruct and attempt to find a solution to the ongoing war between Israel and Gaza. The war began with Hamas' Oct. 7 attack on Israel, which killed more than 1,200 Israelis, with Israel's response resulting in an unprecedented, full-scale military assault on Gaza. It has led to more than 28,000 Palestinian deaths and millions more displaced, according to the Human Rights Watch.

Stewart introduced the audience to a new segment "The Futile Crescent" with a "Middle East Conflict Disclaimer Cam." The sped-up infomercial voiceover said quickly, "Discussion of Israel and Palestine is not meant to endorse or justify each side." Following the disclaimer, Stewart dug into what is an ongoing "five-month brutal bombing campaign," and "we seem not closer to ending anything but the reigns of a couple of Ivy League presidents." 

The comedian aimed his criticism at Israeli President Benjamin Netanyahu's peace plan: "So your peace plan is a siege, military siege? You really think a military solution ends this cycle?"

Intercut with an interview with Netanyahu on "Face The Nation," he said, "victory is in reach and you can't have victory until Hamas is eliminated."

Stewart then responded, "But your plan to eliminate Hamas by destroying all of Gaza. . . uh . . . Doesn't that just make more Hamases?" alluding to the concept of "blowback" in which bombing terrorists often radicalizes people and just creates more terrorists.

Then Stewart took aim at the United States' support in aiding Israel with military assistance with bombs and other weapons. "Look, the United States is Israel’s closest ally. Israel’s big brother in the fraternity of nations," he said. "Israel’s work emergency contact. Maybe it’s time for the U.S. to give Israel some tough moral love."

This was followed by a clip reel of various US foreign policymakers and leaders, all urging to "stop the war crimes and atrocities and end the war today. It could happen right now."

The audience responded to the clip with roars of applause and even Stewart was riled up and emphasized, "Right now! These atrocities must be—" Then he paused, holding a finger up to the crowd, miming getting a note from producers in his earpiece, "I'm sorry I'm being told the administration was talking about Russia and Ukraine. I apologize. Also a war crime."

"But I'm sure they're giving equally stern advice to Israel," he said unconvincingly. But clips of the Biden administration sharing the same sentiment about Israel's bombardment on Gaza were much softer in comparison. President Joe Biden vaguely said Israel should "be more careful."

"'Hey, Israel, take it down a notch. Could you please be more careful with your bombing?' is good advice," Stewart said. "But really, couldn’t the United States have told Israel that when we gave them all the bombs? They’re our bombs! This is like your coke dealer coming over with an eight ball and going, 'Don’t stay up all night.'"

Stewart also took issue with the United Nations' inability to create any solutions between the warring factions. A montage of several failed UN ceasefire resolutions due to vetoes from the Security Council, which is made up of Western leaders and other powers like China and Russia. 

Angrily Stewart said, "Why do you even have a f*****g building? Why? We could use that! We have a housing crisis. Give us back our f*****g building! It's just not right! What is the United Nations even?"

Frustrated with the lack of initiative from the Western leaders, the international community and even the Arab countries like Saudi Arabia, Stewart said, "No one seems to be incentivized to stop the suffering of the innocent people in this region."

"The status quo cycle of provocation and retribution is predicated on some idea that one of these groups is going away and they are not. If we want a safe and free Israel, and a space and free Palestine, we have to recognize that reality," he said.

He continued, "And I know there's a twisted and much-contested history in the region that has gotten us to this point. But we are at this point. Anything we do from here has to look forward."

So Stewart said he had three ideas for peace. The first is a peace-building camp between Israeli and Palestinian people in Maine. "OK that one hasn't been scaled up yet," he joked.

Solution two: “Let’s just ask God. It’s his house! He’s the one who started all this! Just ask God. He can tell us who is right! Is it the Jews? Is it the Muslims? Is it the Zoroastrians? If it’s the Scientologists, a lot of us are going to have egg on our faces.” 

And last but not least, Stewart said, “I actually think this last one could work. Starting now: no preconditions, no earned trust, no partners for peace. Israel stops bombing. Hamas releases the hostages."

"The Arab countries who claim Palestine is their top priority come in and form a Demilitarized Zone between Israel and a free Palestinian state. The Saudis, Egypt, U.A.E., Qatar, Jordan — they all form like a NATO arrangement guaranteeing security for both sides. Obviously, they won’t call it NATO — it’s the Middle East Treaty Organization. It’s METO,” he said. "Tweet it out! METO!"

"The Daily Show" airs Monday through Thursday at 11 p.m. on Comedy Central and streams on Paramount+