There is only one thing that matters about Donald Trump — and it’s not his crimes or mental decline

I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m already tired of the presidential election campaign and it’s just mid-March. And I like politics.

Usually, by this time in the campaign season, we’re not even sure who the nominees are yet. This year we already know and most of us have already made up our minds. That doesn’t mean anyone has stopped yelling at us, of course. It just means if you’re covering politics you’re already tired because the divisive rancor in this country is headed for overdrive until November (and possibly afterward) and some of us would like to spend a little bit of time thinking about someone other than Donald Trump or Joe Biden. The wife. The kids. The family. Maybe that mime on the beach who nearly drowned. Whoever. Whatever.

To quickly recap, standing in the sewage and heaving his own political feces far and wide is the wild orangutan of the Republican, excuse me MAGA, party – Donald Trump. We know what he’s all about. Do I really need to go into great detail? What can I possibly say that hasn’t already been written, said, recorded or spoken about the man. He’s still chaos in a blender. 

And his supporters? Most of them fall not too far from the poisoned tree of Trump. I spoke with one of his Midwest supporters this week; a used car salesman who believes all politicians are liars, but Donald is special. “They all lie. They’re all crooks. They’re all corrupt. The country was better under Trump though. We were at peace. He got us out of Afghanistan and Biden screwed that up. We were at peace with Russia and Biden screwed that up. There wasn’t a war in the Middle East. That’s Biden’s fault too.”

How do you dissect that nonsense? I didn’t even waste my time arguing with the guy. He’s like a bad SNL skit. It’s as bad as the morons who think God has chosen Trump to lead us to the promised land. If Joe Biden loses to this level of stupidity, he will have no one to blame but himself – and a Democratic Party that hasn’t effectively fought back.

Donald is busy slurring his way through speeches, calling other Americans “The enemy”, and creating campaign issues out of inaction, blame, deflection and fiction. You know, typical Trump. 

On the other hand, we have Joe Biden. The MAGA party is falling over itself in befuddlement as it tries to impeach him for reasons they don’t understand, can’t articulate and don’t believe. It is all to support their own candidate, who many of them secretly loathe but are willing to support because . . . they’ve got no one else. Think about it. Who in that party, outside of Trump, has any national appeal? Matt Gaetz would lose a fistfight to Rand Paul’s hair perm. The only real challenger is Nikki Haley and Trump effectively destroyed her by Super Tuesday.

Meanwhile, special prosecutor Robert Hur showed up in Congress this week to answer questions about the investigation into Joe Biden and his handling of classified documents. Hur was the guy who described Biden as a well-meaning old geezer. Since the prosecutor admitted Biden did nothing illegal, all the GOP could do was try to parse his words for soundbites and faux political arguments making the airwaves at Fox, and in articles at Breitbart. 

Hur was vilified by the left, lionized by the right and in the end, no one did anything – because, after all, this is a MAGA-controlled Congress and they can barely keep the lights on. That’s fine with Jim Jordan because he apparently operates best in the dark.

While the MAGA party has no real charges, so far, to level against Biden, that doesn’t keep them from calling him a degenerate, a corrupt criminal, a chronic bed wetter and a drooling dotard with dementia. It doesn’t matter if it’s true or not. Say it enough and the acolytes will believe. More importantly, they’ll start quoting you – that’s all the MAGA party wants. They say it here. It comes out there. Garbage in. Garbage out.

Meanwhile, over on the Meidas Touch video channel, a former Trump employee talked about Trump’s often explosive and violent bowel movements and his use of adult diapers.

But, even if Trump explosively evacuates his bowels on stage in front of thousands, you can’t count him out because remember those four jurisdictions with felony charges against him? Well, looks like that will never keep him out of the presidential race.

The first case to go to court, or maybe not, will be the Stormy Daniels hush money case in Manhattan. Even the fiercest prosecutors think that while the facts of the case are valid, it’s a stretch to charge Trump with a felony – it’s more likely just a misdemeanor. Former fixer Michael Cohen is waiting for a showdown with Trump – which Trump doesn’t want, so Trump has asked for a delay based on his claims of unlimited immunity – for actions that took place before he was president. That’s truly funny. I wonder if he’d claim immunity on stealing lunch money in fifth grade based on his “unlimited” immunity? 

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The Mar-a-Lago classified documents case is probably the strongest against Trump, but a Trump-friendly judge has prosecutor Jack Smith completely hamstrung, despite the fact that, as Ted Lieu so ably pointed out in the hearing with Hur, Trump lied, conspired to destroy evidence, shifted blame, lied again and then tried a Vulcan mind meld to say he could do whatever he wanted.

The D.C. insurrection case is so tied up in Supreme Court shenanigans it will be lucky to go to trial this fall. And in Georgia? The one case that Trump could not dismiss if he were re-elected? It may never get to trial. A judge dismissed six charges against Trump for lack of evidence. That prompted hoots, screams of “Deep State” (though it was the state that dismissed the charges) and of course, the inevitable plea by Trump for more money from his supporters. Meanwhile, the judge is still to rule on the tryst between Fulton County District Attorney Fanni Willis and special prosecutor Nathan Wade. That whole case sounds like a season of the old soap opera “All My Children.” Trump loves soap operas, so he’s munching popcorn and cheeseburgers waiting gleefully for that dustup to end so he can bilk his supporters for more money while screaming, ranting and raving (and perhaps suffering from explosive diarrhea) no matter what the outcome is.

What a presidential race this is turning out to be.

“We don’t have it so good in this country,” a Trump follower told me. “I don’t like either candidate, but I’ll choose Trump cause he can get things done.”

What, on God’s green Earth, or Trump’s scorched Earth, gives anyone the impression that Trump can get anything done? He never has. He couldn’t even run his own real estate “empire.”

He never got an infrastructure bill passed despite announcing “Infrastructure Week” nearly every week of his presidency. Members of his own party lament that they didn’t get border policy legislation passed when they controlled Congress during the Trump administration. The MAGA party claims immigration, the economy and national security are the main issues in the election – and while they may be right, they also haven’t done anything to contribute to solving any of the problems. They’ve only worked to exacerbate them and exploit them for Trump’s benefit.

Trump doesn’t care about solving the problems, and some of us don’t recognize the true problems we face. For example, the biggest fallout from prosecutor Hur’s testimony in Congress highlighted just how easy it is for our enemies to get access to classified and Top Secret information.

Don’t expect us to pay much attention to that salient point. Explosive bowel movements, hush money to hookers, and “illegal” immigrants who take all the jobs while sitting on their butts not working and getting unemployment are our biggest talking points.

Biden reached out to Trump to solve the immigration problem. “Let’s work together,” he said. Trump would have none of that. He just wants to dish out blame.

That leaves the “Thump them in the nose” approach the only viable alternative to Trump.

To hell with arguing about court cases. To hell with pointing out Trump’s foibles. Hillary Clinton lost because she didn’t go where she needed the votes in 2016. Concentrate on beating Trump at the polls. Make sure the election is secure. Make sure there’s no fraud. Make sure there’s no suppression.  Concentrate on doing those things and then it doesn’t matter if Trump goes to prison. Just make sure the seditious ass clown never makes it back to the White House. Count every vote and everyone must vote.

Isn’t that the real goal? Personally, I do not care if Trump spends one day in prison – though he deserves to spend the rest of his days there. I also don’t care that he’s old, or that Biden is old.

These things are distractions. The die has been cast. For the next eight and a half months we have to listen to the most moronic, insipid, ridiculous presidential campaign of all time between one old geezer with explosive bowel movements, and another who suffers from sleep apnea and is nursing a broken foot.

The only thing to do is to keep an eye on the prize. Do not be fooled by trinkets, and baubles. It doesn’t matter what goes on in court. It doesn’t matter if Donald is demented. It doesn’t matter if he’s a fascist, authoritarian, a despot, a philanderer, a numbskull, a loon, or a spoiled brat who has mommy and daddy issues. It matters that the atavistic ass could be our president – again. So, don’t focus on the Depends. Focus on the end.

Donald Trump must never return to the White House. We know what and who he is. Don’t waste your time pointing out the obvious, or getting upset about it. Do something positive. Turn out the votes. It is not a time to be complacent. It is not a time to become bored or unamused. The next eight months will be a trial of everyone’s intestinal fortitude. 

I read recently one reporter’s lament about suffering from PTSD following the 2016 campaign. Wussy. Buckle up buttercup. These are the times that try all souls. You’ve got a job to do. Report the facts. If we did that there might be fewer MAGA supporters as a result. 

The voters have a job to do, too.

Quit whining. Don’t listen to the next eight months of gaslighting. Vote.

Because, bottom line, Trump could still win.