Autistic people are tired of the stigma and fetishization

Dr. Rebecca Brenner Graham is an accomplished intellectual. Currently a postdoctoral research associate at Rhode Island's Brown University, Graham formerly taught history at a Virginia high school and is writing a soon-to-be-published biography of Frances Perkins, America's first female cabinet member (as Secretary of Labor) and a notably progressive adviser to President Franklin D. Roosevelt.

Graham is also autistic. And while her myriad achievements may make it look easy or even glamorous to be autistic, Graham has firsthand familiarity with the ugly downsides to society's prevalent assumptions about autism — assumptions that consistently disadvantage marginalized groups.

"The medical establishment and society defined autism as a specific type of white boy, and from that characterization came the stereotype," Graham said. "Consequently, people like me for whom autism has been a leading shaper of life experiences and trajectory did not have the diagnoses, accommodations and understanding for so long. With lack of understanding comes confusion and shame for differences, all because of bigots who defined autistic as male."

Graham recalled that roughly two years before she was diagnosed, a male therapist insisted she could not be autistic because she makes eye contact. Even after she was diagnosed following this delay, a male psychologist on Twitter responded to a post acknowledging her autism diagnosis by saying that she didn’t "seem autistic" to him.

"As if that’s a compliment," Graham said. "It’s depressing to me if either of these people have female neurodivergent clients, because misunderstanding the intersections of gender and neurodiversity does damage and harm. I’m proud of being autistic. It can make daily life more difficult not necessarily because of autism itself but because society is structured for neurotypicals."

Kris King, an autistic graduate of Harvard University's History of Science: Women, Gender & Sexuality Studies, explained to Salon that being an autistic woman is problematic in another way — autism can be fetishized.

"Autism is fetishized in many ways, especially for autistic women," King said. "Autistic people are marginalized and often feel excluded and extraordinarily lonely," adding that they have entered professional spaces where after revealing their autism diagnosis, they are often treated to negative stereotypes about autism. "This minimizes my ability to do my job, engage productively with coworkers, and share the affirming and inclusive understanding of autism I intend to carry and that our community deserves."

Sometimes the stereotypes about autism hurt autistic people because outsiders deny their diagnosis due to their seemingly non-conforming behavior.

"My experience is the opposite: people have a stereotype of what an autistic is, and I don't match the stereotype," Graham said. "Yet, after substantial testing and therapy, autism explains my whole life."

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King's research into the subject of ableism against neurodiverse people confirms Graham's observations.

"Psychologists, family members, doctors, lawyers and politicians have all-too-often defined autism, rather than autistic people," King said. "As someone who is high masking, this misinformation requires me to share sensitive medical information and complex, traumatic histories of invalidation and diagnosis to be taken seriously and or be recognized as autistic, let alone disabled."

While prejudices against autistic people are not limited to any single political perspective, experts have observed that the stigmas seem to be more intense and toxic when held by members of the political right-wing.

"Even though I do not have an autism diagnosis myself, it is clear that autism is fetishized and represented in stereotypical ways in our society and media," Ruxi Gheorghe — a PhD Candidate at Carleton's School of Social Work who has studied representations of autism among incels — told Salon. "For example, the amount of autistic characters portrayed as nerdy geniuses are insurmountable (e.g., 'Rain Man' or 'Big Bang Theory.') This is not only problematic because it suggests generalizable characteristics that 'all' autistic people present that way, but is it also problematic because many of these characters are written without input from autistic people themselves. The other stereotype I've noticed is that so many of these characters are portrayed as white, cis, hetero men. We are being shown one very exaggerated 'persona' of autism — this is clearly fetishization and this is why representation matters."

King has firsthand knowledge in right-wing experiences of what Gheorghe describes.

"I have experienced just as much misinformation, ableism and hatred from people who vote any number of parties," King said. "It is important to note, however, that the ableism is magnified and made more dangerous, particularly in right-wing spaces, when I am perceived as queer and trans, and I have read similar accounts by those who have marginalized visible identities along lines of race, religion, disability and more."

There is, of course, an antidote to all this autism misinformation: education.

"Colleges and universities are doing a disservice to those interested in the helping profession by not including more education regarding [autism spectrum disorders], especially in the adult population," Caroline C., a licensed clinical social worker who also has autism, told Salon. "It is essential not to stereotype individuals with ASD [autism spectrum disorder] or fetishize ASD. Dr. Stephen Shore could not have been more accurate when he said: 'When you meet one person with autism, you've met one person with autism.'"

Graham offered detailed advice on how people can better interact with autistic people in their lives.

"My least favorite reactions to my autism are first, denial — though that hasn’t happened since my medical diagnosis. Second, 'everyone’s a little autistic' which is dismissive and incorrect. And third, hush-toned use of the outdated phrase 'on the spectrum,' as if I’m ashamed of being autistic (I’m not) or as a placeholder for 'high and low functioning,' which loads of top-notch research has debunked," Graham said.

She added, "I don’t think my autism has been fetishized, likely because I’m high masking in many situations, which is of course a privilege but also bad because masking is exhausting and harmful to health and understanding. The closest I’ve experienced to fetishization has probably been the 'superpower' myth. The superpower myth is damaging because it overlooks the humanity of neurodivergent individuals. We are not mutant X-Men somehow endowed with special powers. Like everyone, we deserve empathy, humanity and understanding."