The tragedy of Liam Payne: A One Direction pop star life lived in spectacle

Every member of One Direction had a role. Harry Styles was the cheeky one. Zayn Malik, the mysterious one. Niall Horan was the nice, Irish lad. Louis Tomlinson was the class clown. Leaving Liam Payne as the sensible, responsible one. 

Payne, the resident leader of the quintet, is the first of the millennial-aged group to die, in a sudden tragic incident in Argentina. The 31-year-old pop star died on Wednesday, Oct. 16 after falling from a hotel balcony in Buenos Aires. When the harrowing news broke Wednesday evening, shockwaves reverberated through the music industry and the One Direction fandom. Reports from Argentinian police said that Payne "had jumped from the balcony of his room," with no clarifying insights about the incident, The Associated Press reported.

As millions of Directioners across the world mourn Payne, his troubled persona has been peeled back, indicating that the former embattled child pop star’s international success and acclaim had weighty ramifications not only for his mental health but also his privacy — or lack thereof — even in death.

The birth of the British-Irish boyband bulldozed 2010s music with infectious pop melodies and vocal-driven performances, bringing back an international frenzy around boybands that hadn't made the American crossover since Beatlemania. The band was also named Billboard's 22nd Greatest Pop Stars of the 21st Century for their influence on pop music at the launch of the social media age. The band formed in the 2010s at the behest of the judges of the British talent show "The X Factor." The then-solo artists, who were 16 to 18, were shoved into a makeshift group. Just like that, One Direction was born. 

One Direction lasted a jam-packed six years, dropping songs like the certified quadruple platinum hit "What Makes You Beautiful" and Billboard hit "Story of Our Lives." The boys toured and performed across the world, releasing back-to-back albums at the demand of their Simon Cowell-led label and their obsessive and intrusive fans. But just like a bright impermanent star, the young, wide-eyed boys turned industry-downtrodden men burned out in 2016. They were all between 22 and 25 when the band officially went on a permanent hiatus.

As Payne's band members released critically and commercially successful solo debuts, he debuted the single "Strip That Down." It was a commercial success on the American and British charts but his first album failed to grab critical attention. His transition to a life outside of the band seemed like a difficult one. He sang in his debut single, "You know I used to be in 1D (Now I'm out, free) People want me for one thing (That's not me)."

While Payne was deemed the leader or responsible one, he was also a prolific songwriter contributing to the group alongside Tomlinson. But it often seemed like the group's fame felt like a pressure cooker for a young Payne. He told Men’s Health Australia in 2019, that he began excessively drinking while he was in the band to cope with fame and their rigorous touring schedule.

Payne described his One Direction days, saying, "When you’re doing hundreds and hundreds of [concerts] and it’s the same 22 songs at the same time every single day, even if you’re not happy, you’ve got to go out there."

He continued, "It’s almost like putting the Disney costume on before you step up on stage and underneath the Disney costume I was pissed quite a lot of the time because there was no other way to get your head around what was going on."

Ultimately, "[the band] had an absolute blast but there were certain parts of it where it just got a little bit toxic," he said.

Just a week before his death, Payne became a polarizing figure in the One Direction fanbase. He faced a series of misconduct allegations from ex-fiancée Maya Henry and several fans online. People Magazine reported Henry had issued a cease-and-desist order last week against Payne after she alleged he repeatedly contacted her. Henry previously told People that a fictional scenario in her novel, "Looking Forward" — where the main character is pressured by her partner to get an abortion — was "very similar" to an event in her own life. 

As Payne's star waned and his relationship with fame and people's perceptions of him changed in his adulthood, he spoke out about his mental health struggles. Recently, he shared that he had been diagnosed with "a couple of conditions" and decided to speak on it so people "know you’re not the only one."

Moreover, Payne has been in the spotlight since he auditioned for "The X Factor" for the first time when he was 14. All this exposure led him to deal with mental health struggles that included suicidal ideation. In 2019, he said in an interview with Sky News, "There’s times where that level of loneliness and people getting into you everyday. Just every so often, you’re like, when will this end? That’s almost nearly killed me a couple of times."

This is not uncommon for those who have dealt with fame from a young age. The public struggles of child stars like Demi Lovato, Lindsay Lohan and Amanda Bynes come to mind. The constant scrutiny, lack of privacy and attendant identity crises can lead to struggles with anxiety, paranoia and depression, Psychological Care Institute found. Not only can it exacerbate mental health conditions, but fame can ultimately change your brain because "Your neurons get used to a certain level of excitation and stimulation,” reporting by The Face explained. ​“And then, forevermore, you kind of want it to be at that level. When the fame begins to wane, it can, then, be difficult to adjust."

Operating on this tightrope appeared to be a challenge for Payne. According to reporting from the AP, Buenos Aires police said they found Payne's hotel room “in complete disarray.” They detailed that they found packs of clonazepam, a central nervous system depressant, energy supplements and over-the-counter drugs. A whiskey bottle, lighter and cellphone were also collected from the courtyard where Payne’s body was found.

During the breaking news of Payne's death, Argentinian outlets ran wild with speculation of suicide, TMZ posted horrifically violating photos of Payne's body, and photos of his hotel room showing drugs and broken items were leaked. Within hours of his death, millions of people across the world had seen his dead body and the intimate portrait of his troubled life. Even in his death, the star's body could not be laid to rest. Another piece of himself he unwillingly gave to an audience.

Hauntingly, Payne was posting Snapchat stories of his time in Argentina merely hours before his death. People have recorded and reposted these stories to memorialize his last hours. Now as I scroll TikTok, videos of Payne's girlfriend Kate Cass's travel vlogs of the couple's time in Argentina are popping up on my For You Page.

Even TikTok's algorithm isn't letting Payne rest in peace — yet another violation of his privacy. The nature of his death has attracted parasocial voyeurs treating the tragedy like an entertaining mystery. But again, as Payne described, this spectacle is just a part of the regular circus of his short-lived life.

If you are in crisis, please call the 988 Suicide and Crisis  Lifeline by dialing 988, or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741.