Stephen Colbert jokes about Americans who want to flee U.S. after Trump win

"There's also been a spike in searches for 'induce self coma how to' and 'cried so hard I pooped?'"

By Nardos Haile

Staff Writer

Published November 13, 2024 1:14PM (EST)

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert during Wednesday’s November 6, 2024 show. (Scott Kowalchyk/CBS)
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert during Wednesday’s November 6, 2024 show. (Scott Kowalchyk/CBS)

Just a week after the 2024 election, Americans are questioning whether they want to even live in the U.S. as President-elect Donald Trump is building his cabinet for his second term.

On Tuesday's "The Late Show with Stephen Colbert," the host addressed the potential new Trump administration appointees like Sen. Marco Rubio, saying "[Trump] keeps your balls in a jar on their desk?” Rubio's name is being floated as possibly taking on the Secretary of State position. Colbert pointed out Rubio's newfound loyalty to Trump after years of a contentious relationship. During the 2016 race, Rubio had made fun of Trump's hands following his comments about Rubio's height.

Trump has also tapped Gov. Kristi Noem to head up Homeland Security. Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy are set to run a new government agency called Department of Government Efficiency. Fox News anchor Pete Hegseth is also set to be the Secretary of Defense.

“Even if you spend years insulting Donald Trump, you can get back in his good graces just by praising him,” Colbert said.

“Which is why I’d like to take this opportunity to say to our new president-elect . . .” Colbert turned and looked directly into the camera, “Pass.”

As Trump's cabinet takes form, Colbert emphasized, "A lot of Americans are feeling unsettled since the election which is one of the reasons why according to Google internet searches for how to move abroad are up by 1000%."

He added, "There's also been a spike in searches for 'frosting near me,' 'induce self coma how to' and 'cried so hard I pooped?'"

He said, "U.S. searches for 'move to Canada' increased by 1,270% making this a perfect time to debut my new reality show, 'Who Wants to Marry a Mountie?"

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Another spike in searches included "cost to move to Canada from U.S?" "Can I move to Canada if Trump wins?" "Moving to Canada requirements."

Colbert also mentioned, "If you want to flee the country but can't get into Canada, one cruise line is offering four-year trips to people looking to avoid a second Trump term. The cruise takes place on a ship called the Odyssey. When I think positive travel experience, I think the Odyssey." He is of course, referring to Homer's epic poem that follows the travels of Odysseus and his crew, who faced perils such a the monster Scylla and giant whirlpool Charybdis.

"This is gonna be a long four years," Colbert observed.

"The Late Show with Stephen Colbert" airs every weeknight at 11:35 p.m. ET.


By Nardos Haile

Nardos Haile is a staff writer at Salon covering culture. She’s previously covered all things entertainment, music, fashion and celebrity culture at The Associated Press. She resides in Brooklyn, NY.

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2024 Election Clip Donald Trump Marco Rubio Media Stephen Colbert The Late Show With Stephen Colbert