This Valentine's Day, celebrate with a culinary unsung hero and true "taste of home": Gravy

Valentine’s Day is this week — and here I am giving you gravy.

It is special, mind you: My husband’s favorite . . . but it is gravy nonetheless.

I make no apologies for my timing on this because what constitutes an act of love is as varied as the individuals upon which we bestow our affections, but I understand fully if you prefer to keep with traditional and stick to gifts of flowers or chocolates. I, on the other hand, know the way to my Valentine’s heart — and it does not include ornamentation, flash or anything that involves him having to put on socks and nice shoes. An unexpected big breakfast complete with his favorite “mushroom gravy” will always win his heart. 

Sidebar: There are no mushrooms in this gravy, never have been, but still after close to twenty years together and countless servings of his most adored fungi-free, savory condiment, Tom, the husband, extols the glory of my “mushroom gravy” every time he sweetly asks me to make it. 

I no longer correct him. 

It just so happens, my superhero-sauce is made without meat or dairy, therefore suitable for vegetarians and vegans. I once felt I deserved extra credit for this, for making something so good and typically off limits to the veg-folks in my life, but at this point, I am not cooking for anyone who considers themselves to be of either meatless persuasion. Yet, this is still one of my most requested to bring round to family dinners where a table full of my favorite and most discriminating carnivores never fail to rave over it. 

If you are from the South or from the country — and by that I do not mean the country, as in the USA, but the country as opposed to the city — you understand the importance of gravy, how we take it for granted, having grown up with it slathered over biscuits and grits for breakfast, topping our mashed potatoes and smothering our chicken fried steak. It is the taste of home. If you were raised elsewhere, it may be that you value it for only its lowest and most basic function: to cover a multitude of sins committed when you overcook the main course — only gravy can save a dry turkey. Worse, you may only think of it as mere decoration, just something tan or brown to fill the elongated, boat shaped serving pieces of your fall and winter holiday china.   

Whatever your relationship with it, gravy is easy to come by. You can buy it ready made in a jar or even a box, off the grocery store shelf or use an equally accessible powdered packet as a short cut. No judgement if pre-made is your preference, but once you make homemade, which is ridiculously easy and fast, I can pretty much guarantee you will convert to scratch-made forever. 

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A simple deglazing of the pan used to cook sausage, country ham or bacon and you are well on your way to a gravy that will be the crowning glory of a sit down breakfast. The same goes for dinner gravy made from leftover morsels of chicken, turkey, beef or game. The process is the same: Combine drippings or fat, flour, stock, water or milk (or in the case of Red Eye Gravy, coffee) and a little salt and pepper. Give it a few minutes to thicken and voila, you have gravy.   

Like grits, greens and biscuits, gravy is a Southern staple born out of necessity, of making the best out of very little.

In the case of gravy, it was the using of all the last bits — the meaty, salty, sticky leftovers scraped from an otherwise empty pan or skillet — to make something delicious to feed hungry, working people. Its humble beginnings of stretching what food was available became something beloved over time. A taste so comforting that many associate it with the love of their mother, their grandmothers or whoever was the cook during one's childhood.

The kinds of gravy you deem best and most noteworthy depend on where you grew up and the meats favored in your family, particularly those for breakfast, supper and Sunday dinner. This gravy of mine is different, of course, because it is not made from meat, but it is mighty delicious and very versatile. It has been a real standout for the last twenty-plus years that I have been making it. A gravy for everyone that is heart healthy and down-home tasting, very unique indeed. And if you happen to have vegetarians or vegans in your life, one taste and they will positively think they have died and gone to Heaven. They may possibly even fall in love with you. This is life changing stuff, I tell you.

My husband, an omnivore, thinks there is nothing finer than this very gravy on top of his favorite breakfast bowl that begins with a hefty serving of grits topped with perfectly cooked, over-medium, fried eggs. He believes he is the better grits-maker in the family, so I have happily relinquished that job to him. There is no doubt I could win any fried egg cooking competition, if there were such, so I continue to steer the ship at the egg station.

Side by side with grits and eggs as our base, we let our moods of the morning dictate what more we add to our bowls. Could be reheated, leftover collard greens and roasted vegetables, chopped avocado, diced peppers, hot sauce, green onions, a sprinkling of cheese . . . there are no limits and no rules.   

After our big breakfast, maybe a boat ride or a walk along the shoreline? Sounds like the right amount of excitement for Valentine’s Day 2025. With each passing year, my hopes and wants get simpler: A relaxing day of lightness and laughter with my husband and a lifetime of future happy days and loving companionship for myself and all my people.

I strongly suggest you jot this recipe down (or print it or save it or whatever you do to keep it on hand), because gravy IS a love language and this very recipe might be just the thing to make your Valentine’s day complete.