The penguins and seals won.
Donald Trump’s retaliatory tariffs, which he said would bring back manufacturing jobs, boost the economy, pay off the national debt and cure warts, were less than a week old when he announced he had substantially scaled them back for 90 days. “[B]ased on the fact that more than 75 countries have called representatives of the United States,” Trump explained Wednesday on Truth Social, “I have authorized a 90 day pause, and a substantially lowered reciprocal tariff during this period of 10 percent — also effective immediately.”
The exception was China, a country Trump said has shown the world a “lack of respect” and has had a history of “ripping off the U.S.A.” Trump bumped China’s tariffs to 125 percent.
Heard Island and McDonald Islands, populated by penguins and seals and also subject to the tariffs, offered no comment.
“I’m glad Trump folded,” former Republican congressman Adam Kinzinger posted on Threads, asking, “What did we go through that for?”
“I’m not saying he’s insane,” a longtime Republican source told me. “But his administration is the most sloppy, unprofessional, arrogant and stupid group of people ever assembled in government.” Others, however, are saying he’s insane.
On April 4, Trump announced in a “Liberation Day” Rose Garden event that his tariffs “are already delivering wins for Americans.” Trillions had been invested, he insisted, and Americans were happier than pigs in slop over the tariffs.
But by Wednesday, he'd changed his tune.
“We’ve been ripped off by everybody for 35 years,” he said in the Oval Office while signing a series of executive orders. “Everybody wants to make a deal,” he added while reversing course. Earlier on the South Lawn, while meeting with race car drivers, Trump said we are “transitioning to greatness,” in explaining why he caved.
More than one Washington wag said, “I thought he was against transitioning.” My GOP source, with tongue firmly planted in cheek, said, “We got everything we wanted with this guy, didn’t we?”
The real reason Trump caved was the stock market. After several days of spectacular losses, it responded with a record surge on Wednesday after Trump backed off the tariffs. “He saw the writing on the wall,” a GOP member of Congress explained. “With one signature, he was killing the economy. With one social media posting, he was able to reverse that. We’re on a yo-yo and he’s pulling the string.”
Tuesday, the markets had also surged early until White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt showed up in the briefing room for her weekly visit to brandish her political pom-poms as Trump's one-person pep squad. As soon as she said Trump was doubling down on the tariffs and planned on hitting China harder, the markets tanked again and Trump freaked out.
Wednesday, he had just two things on his public schedule: that meeting with race car drivers on the South Lawn — a grip-and-grin public appearance — and another session in the Oval Office to sign executive orders. The first was originally open to the press, while the second was not. Speculation was that Trump would wait until the last possible moment and then open up the second event to the press pool as well. “He likes cliffhangers. He loves to tell us to stay tuned for the next exciting episode and we fall for it every time,” one White House reporter explained.
And with tongue firmly planted in cheek, my GOP source said, “We got everything we wanted with this guy, didn’t we?”
And, sure enough, Trump did just that. It’s all part of the chaos in a blender of the new Trump regime. Once the markets rebounded, Trump had the impetus he needed and the courage to jump in front of the cameras and give us another round of “Why Biden sucked” coupled with “the press still sucks” and then ending with why a law firm sucked.
He used the opportunity to field questions and tell us why he shoots rainbows and unicorns from his backside. During the nearly hour-long meeting in the Oval Office with the press pool, he discussed water pressure, opined on Asian carp, insulted Harvard, claimed the country was making $2 billion a day on tariffs (that he just paused), and then accused former employee Miles Taylor (author of “Anonymous”) of being a traitor. That’s no small accusation coming from the president, since a treason conviction carries the death penalty as a possible punishment. Never mind. Trump also went after Christopher Krebs, the former federal employee who said the 2020 elections were fair. Trump can’t have that, so he’s claiming the “rigged” election was in part Krebs’ responsibility. He said the Department of Justice will investigate both men.
That wasn’t all. Trump once again blamed Biden for everything that’s ever gone wrong on the planet, since Eve encouraged Adam to eat the apple. Trump said the U.S. was in dire straits before he blessed us all with his presence, and assured us that he pushed the pause button on the tariffs not because of anything any other country did, but because he had a good feeling about doing so. He also said he’d negotiate directly with Iran on the “nuclear question” for as long as he could — based on his “feel” of the situation. What they have to negotiate remains unspoken since Trump — like other presidents before him — believes Iran shouldn’t be allowed to have nuclear weapons. That’s what they call a “deal breaker."
There are those who don’t appreciate Trump’s “feel” for anything. “He creates problems and then pretends to solve them,” my GOP source, a member of Congress, explained. “We enable him and we haven’t learned yet how to battle this stupidity. The country and the world is suffering from the whims of a madman.”
That may be true, but so far no one in the GOP has stood up to Trump and the Democrats are still trying to figure out how to handle him. The press? We gave up long ago. Now we’re just part of the circus.
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Trump’s former fixer, Michael Cohen, has made the rounds on social media talking about the problem. He’s a frequent guest on Jim Acosta’s Substack show, as well as on Joe Walsh’s show and others. Cohen’s frequent rant is that Trump only cares about Trump and the rest of us are screwed.
Nothing drives that point home more than watching some of my colleagues in the press pool serve up softball questions to Trump that amount to asking “Can you tell us why you’re so great?” Trump usually responds to those with “that was a really good question,” if you need a prompt to understand what I’m talking about.
Lost in the haze of Trump’s befuddled narcissism and fascism is the often ignored reality: This is not normal. There are many who were and are ready for something outside the box. That’s why they voted for Trump. That’s why many don’t abandon him even now. “He speaks his mind. He’s great,” my favorite Missouri in-law tells me.
But, let’s look at then and now.
When I was eight years old, man landed on the moon and measles was nearly a thing of the past. Today, millions believe both that the moon landing was faked and that the measles vaccine causes autism. In Texas, children are dying of measles again as the once nearly-eradicated disease makes a comeback.
When I was a child, we sang “Give Peace a Chance.” In the Oval Office on Wednesday, the president of the United States boasted about the U.S. having weapons, “some of which you wouldn’t believe,” and he said he wasn’t above using them on Iran.
But wait, there’s more.
When meeting with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu in the White House earlier this week, Trump doubled down on his declaration that he wanted to develop Gaza, which he described “great oceanfront property.” He proposed a “Gaza Freedom Zone” that, naturally, would be free of Palestinians. Netanyahu and Trump both said the Palestinians should just move out.
When I was a child, the New York Times broke the story of the Pentagon Papers. The Washington Post broke the Watergate scandal. A crooked president fell. Today, the New York Times has Maggie Haberman, who has been accused of being a shill for Trump. The Washington Post? It declined to endorse Kamala Harris for president for fear of angering Trump.
President Ronald Reagan, a key architect of the tragedy that is today’s Republican Party, opposed tariffs and supported a pathway to citizenship for immigrants. He believed that tariffs destroy economies and the country needs immigrants. Trump is happy sending immigrants to prison, deporting them and denying student visas to college-aged students while trying to wreck the economy with tariffs.
The Supreme Court backed the Washington Post and the New York Times in their battles against Nixon. Today, the Supreme Court is allowing Trump to extradite immigrants — even those like a father in Maryland who has committed no crime — to foreign prisons.
The popular destination is El Salvador, the new Gitmo and soon-to-be Super Max that may even house native-born U.S. citizens, if Trump has his way. Where’s Snake Plissken when you need him? “Welcome to the human race.”
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Trump is also busy pushing voter suppression, and as long-time White House reporter Jon-Christopher Bua mentioned on X, Wednesday’s outing on the South Lawn and in the Oval Office was “another Trump opportunity to deflect & Flood The Zone — keeping the story far away from his reversal on tariffs & his possible market manipulation. Trump is a master of distraction. As you know, In politics as in comedy, timing is everything!”
Trump is a failed comedian, a successful politician and an absolute menace to the world. His current administration takes two steps backward for every step forward. Fire the FAA safety inspectors — then rehire them. Have DOGE come in and club a government office to death, then rehire those who got fired because they're essential personnel. Levy tariffs. Remove tariffs. Levy tariffs again. Put them on pause. Nothing is done by reason. It’s all by Trump’s “feel” for the moment, enabled by those who kiss his ring and nether regions every time they’re in the same room with him.
The press can’t push back because he’s co-opted us. Our constitutionally mandated job is to hold truth to power. That doesn’t make us fake news. it makes us vital. Since Trump now controls the corporate media, most independent and responsible voices have been chased away to Substack or other social media venues where their voices are lost among the cacophony of extremists.
Trump is greedy. Trump is arrogant. Trump doesn’t deserve the respect that comes with the Oval Office and Trump doesn’t care — as long as you pay attention to him.
I recently asked his niece, Mary Trump, if she believes Donald loves anyone. I’m not even sure he loves himself. She agreed, but says that her uncle never got love as a kid and never learned it as an adult. Empathy isn’t in his bag of tricks.
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We recently lost the actor Val Kilmer. In the movie "Tombstone," Wyatt Earp (played by Kurt Russell, also the aforementioned Snake Plissken in "Escape from New York") as Wyatt Earp asks Kilmer’s Doc Holliday what makes a man like the criminal Johnny Ringo tick. Holliday says, “A man like Ringo has got a great big hole right in the middle of him. He can never kill enough or steal enough or inflict enough pain to ever fill it.”
Earp asks what Ringo needs.
“Revenge,” Holliday says.
“For what?” Earp asks.
“For being born,” Holliday says evenly.
That remains the best explanation I’ve heard yet for the pile of steaming insanity that currently inhabits the Oval Office.
The sad part is, I remain convinced that we will not see the United States I grew up in for at least another 20 years — if we ever do — because of Donald Trump.
Still, it’s nice to see the penguins and seals notch a win, standing tall against the Donald.
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